The Shrine and Motel of the Goddess of Love
by ranfan05
Summary: Ranma's 'brilliant' scheme to cure his curse backfires and now he and Ryoga are... married? How did this happen?
1. Chapter 1

RANMA, RYOGA, AND THE SHRINE AND MOTEL OF THE GODDESS OF LOVE

Ranma Saotome walked down the street, his book bag slung over his back. Akane Tendo had stayed late at school to rehearse for the school play, so Ranma was alone. Although apparently nonchalant as he wandered down the street, his eyes continually scanned the doorways and alleyways. When you were a martial artist who attracted trouble and enemies like spilled honey attracted flies, it was best to never be off your guard.

Off to his left, two workmen were hanging a sign in front of a shrine which had been undergoing renovations for the past several months. Curious, Ranma stopped and waited for the workmen to finish. The sign was a pale pink with two large, red hearts that read: "NOW OPEN, The Newly Remodeled Shrine and Motel of the Goddess of Love. Grand Opening Special: A Special Blessing and Boon from the Goddess Herself for the First Couple to Stay in our Romantic Honeymoon Suite."

Ranma cocked his head to the side and puzzled at the sign. While he pondered it, a monk in a pink robe stepped out of the door of the shrine and looked at the sign, nodding his head. Ranma sidled up beside him.

"Hey old man," Ranma said to the monk.

The monk cried out in alarm, jumped back, and made a sign to ward against evil. Seeing it was a young man who spoke and not some demon, he slowly lowered his hands. "Where did you come from?" he asked, holding a hand against his heart. "You startled me."

"I'm Ranma Saotome of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts," Ranma said, as if that answered everything.

"You should wear a bell," the monk groused.

Ranma snorted derisively, but otherwise ignored the comment. "Shrine and motel?" he asked.

"Well," the monk said, "people aren't visiting the old shrines like they used to, so we've expanded our operations."

Ranma shrugged. "So what's a boon?" he asked.

"A boon is… a boon," the monk said. When Ranma frowned at him, he continued. "You know, a boon, a favor, a gift, the answer to a prayer…"

There was a glint in Ranma's eyes. "You mean like a wish?" he asked.

"Well," the monk said, "one must remember that when speaking of a deity, one must be careful, from a theological standpoint, not to equate…"

He paused when he saw Ranma's eyes glaze over and his mouth go slack.

The monk's shoulders slumped. "Yeah," he sighed. "Kind of like a wish."

"Awesome," Ranma said. "I could really use a wish. You think you could put in a good word with this goddess of yours and get me one?"

The monk shook his head. "I'm sorry, young man," he said. "The blessing and boon is only for our first honeymoon couple. It's our grand opening special. If the goddess started handing out boons willy-nilly…"

Ranma frowned and thought for a moment. "Well then," he said, "I want to book the honeymoon suite for tonight. I'm gonna get that wish."

"So you're getting married today?" the monk asked dubiously.

"Um, yeah," Ranma replied. "Just book that suite and don't let anyone else get ahead of me." He turned and darted down the street.

"Wait!" the monk yelled after him. "The suite is 50,000 yen!"

"Okay," Ranma called back over his shoulder.

"What name shall I book the suite under?" the monk yelled to the receding figure.

"Ranma Saotome," Ranma yelled back before disappearing around the corner.

Ranma hurried home. A wish! If this Love Goddess could grant him a wish, he could get his curse removed. No more Jusenkyo curse! All he needed was 50,000 yen to pay for the room, to pretend to get married, and to spend the night in the honeymoon suite.

He skidded to a stop. Okay, so maybe it wouldn't be _that_ easy. He probably could borrow the money from Nabiki somehow, although he shuddered to think of what he would have to go through to get it. But who could he get to pretend to be his bride for the night? Well, okay, there were plenty of likely candidates for his "bride": Ukyo, Shampoo, Kodachi; the real problem was that they would all want to make it a _real_ honeymoon, complete with real wedding.

Then there was Akane. He shivered. If Genma Saotome and Soun Tendo found out about the honeymoon suite, they would launch one of their infamous schemes to turn it into a real wedding. Besides, Ranma thought, if he suggested that he and Akane spend the night in a honeymoon suite, she would call him a pervert and launch him into orbit.

So lost was Ranma in his musings that he didn't pay attention to where he was going. He turned the corner and slammed into Ryoga Hibiki, who happened to be coming the other way. Ranma staggered back. Running into Ryoga was like running into a brick wall.

Ryoga's face darkened upon seeing his arch-rival. He pointed his umbrella at Ranma. "Ranma Saotome, because of you I have seen hell. Prepare to…"

Ryoga paused in surprise as Ranma, using his incredible speed, zipped up next to Ryoga and threw an arm around his shoulder. "Hey, Ryoga, old buddy," Ranma said. "I'm glad to see you. Have I got a deal for you!"

"… die," Ryoga squeaked.

"Plenty of time for that later," Ranma said.

"What are you up to, Ranma?" Ryoga asked.

"I've found a way to get our curses lifted," Ranma said, looking like the proverbial cat that swallowed the canary (although best not to use that particular metaphor around Ranma, considering his cat phobia.)

"You found some Nannichuan?" Ryoga asked. "Where?"

"No, no Nannichuan," Ranma replied. "Something just as good. I found a way for us to get a wish granted."

"A wish?" Ryoga asked.

"Yeah," Ranma said. "All we have to do is wish for our curses to be lifted and – bang! No more P-chan. No more girl-side."

"And how are we going to get this wish?" Ryoga asked warily. He had been a party to too many of Ranma's schemes to take anything Ranma said at face value.

Ranma grabbed Ryoga's hand and started pulling him down the street toward the Tendo dojo. "We just have to get married," Ranma said.

Ryoga, who had been following meekly along behind Ranma, stopped suddenly, pulling Ranma backward. "What?" Ryoga cried. "Married?"

Ranma turned back to look at Ryoga. "Not get married for real," Ranma said. "Back there," he jerked a thumb over his shoulder in the direction of the shrine, "they've opened a new Shine and Motel for the Goddess of Love. The first couple to spend the night in the honeymoon suite gets a wish granted by the goddess herself. So, all we have to do is go and pretend to be newlyweds. We spend the night in the suite and, in the morning, we wish to have our curses lifted. Simple!"

Ryoga folded his arms. "You've come up with some doozies in the past, Ranma, but this takes the cake. Ain't no way I'm going to pretend to be married to a guy."

Ranma rolled his eyes and walked over to a nearby fountain. He splashed some water on himself and immediately turned into a buxom, blue-eyed redhead. "There," she said, wiping off the excess water. "Happy now? You can be the groom and I'll be the bride."

"I don't know," Ryoga said. "Trying to fool a goddess into granting us a wish? Sounds awful risky."

"Come on," Ranma said, sidling up next to Ryoga and looking as cute as possible while batting her long-lashed eyes at him. "Please? What can go wrong?"

"I don't know," Ryoga said again.

"Fine," Ranma pouted, crossing her arms under her ample chest and turning her back on him. "I understand your being chicken and all. Or maybe you like being P-chan. I guess you'd miss sleeping in Akane's bed as her pet. Of course, if you were a real man, instead of a little piglet, maybe you'd have some kind of chance with her. I guess I could be the guy and I could take Akane to the honeymoon suite…"

"Enough!" Ryoga roared. If there was one thing Ranma knew how to do, it was how to push Ryoga's buttons. "I'll do it."

Ranma smiled and slipped her arm in Ryoga's. "C'mon, hubby," she said, unable to resist teasing Ryoga about the situation. "We have a lot of work to do to get ready for our wedding."

Ryoga moaned as Ranma led him down the street.

* * *

Their first stop was the Tendo dojo. Ranma pulled Ryoga into the main room and pushed him into a chair. "Stay!" Ranma commanded. "We can't afford to have you wander off and get lost."

"But…" Ryoga started.

"Stay!" Ranma said again, and then ran up the stairs. She stopped in front of Nabiki's door and took a deep breath. Asking Nabiki for a loan was only slightly less painful than a root canal. Or maybe slightly more painful. Ranma had never had a root canal.

She raised her fist, took another deep breath, and rapped on the door.

"Come in, Ranma," came Nabiki's voice from inside the room.

Ranma stepped in. Nabiki was seated at her desk, looking over some papers. Whether it was school work or something relating to one of Nabiki's myriad side businesses, Ranma couldn't tell. It was all Greek to her. "How did you know it was me?" Ranma asked.

"Trade secret," Nabiki said. "I can tell you for, oh, 500 yen."

"It doesn't matter," Ranma said, looking nervously at her shoes.

"So, what can I do for you, Ranma?" Nabiki asked, her voice dripping honey as it always did when she sensed an opportunity for a profit.

"I, ah, need a loan," Ranma said, kicking at the floor with the toe of her shoe.

"How much?" Nabiki asked, reaching over to pick up her calculator and large accounting ledger.

"50,000 yen," Ranma said.

"Hmm," Nabiki said. "That's a lot of money, Ranma. What do you need it for?"

"I figured out a way to get rid of my curse," Ranma said. "And I need the money to do it."

"Someone having a sale on water from the Spring of the Drowned Boy? Or maybe another of those 'miracle cures' like the anti-water soap or the packets of instant Jusenkyo water?" Nabiki asked, not bothering to keep the sarcasm out of her voice.

"Oh no," Ranma said. "This time I've got it all figured out. You see, there's this shrine – the Shrine and Motel of the Goddess of Love – and whoever stays there, in their motel, for the whole night gets a wish granted by the goddess."

Nabiki frowned. "Sounds too simple. Nothing is ever that simple with you, Ranma."

"Well," Ranma said. ",000yen."

Nabiki stifled a laugh. When would Ranma ever learn? None of his schemes ever worked, and most ended up getting him into deeper trouble. Still, she thought, there may be a way to make some money off of this…

"Okay," Nabiki said to the red-haired girl.

"Oh, that's great, Nabiki!" Ranma said. "I'll really owe you one."

"Actually, you'll owe me 50,000," Nabiki said. "Plus twenty-percent interest. Compounded daily, of course."

Ranma started to say something, but Nabiki continued, cutting her off. "And I get an exclusive on the wedding pictures."

"Wedding pictures?" Ranma asked.

"Well, if you're going to get married, you have to have wedding photos, right?" Nabiki turned and pulled an envelope of bills out of her safe. She waved the 50,000 in cash in front of Ranma. "That's the deal. Take it or leave it."

"Um, okay," Ranma said, snatching the money. She had posed for worse pictures for Nabiki on numerous occasions. How bad could some wedding pictures be?

"Let me get my camera," Nabiki said. She was already compiling a mental list of potential customers for the pictures.

Ranma hurried out of Nabiki's room and ran into Kasumi, sweeping the hallway.

"Hello, Ranma. How was school today?" Kasumi asked.

"Um, just fine," Ranma said. "Listen, Kasumi, do you know what happened to that wedding dress Akane was supposed to wear at our wedding? And my tuxedo? The one Pop and your Dad bought?"

"Why, yes," Kasumi said. "I have it in storage in the guest room. I put them away until the next time you and Akane try and get married."

Ranma winced, remembering their last try at a wedding. It had been an unmitigated disaster. It was a wonder the house was still standing. "Can I borrow them?" Ranma asked.

"Oh," Kasumi said. "Are you and Akane going to try to get married again? No one told me. There's so much to do to get ready for the wedding. How many guests are we expecting?"

"Um, no," Ranma replied. "It's for Ryoga and me."

"Oh, that's nice," Kasumi said. "I think the dress will look very nice on you."

Ranma just stared at Kasumi, open-mouthed.

Kasumi set her broom aside and went into the guest room. She came out with two garment bags. "Here you are," she said.

"Thanks, Kasumi," Ranma said, turning to leave. "Thanks a lot."

"Wait, Ranma," Kasumi said.

Ranma stopped and looked back. "Yeah?" she said.

"When is the wedding?" Kasumi asked.

"Um, this afternoon," Ranma said. "Ah, Kasumi, you realize that Ryoga and I… that is, we're not really…"

"You're going to need some help getting ready," Kasumi said. "You'll want to look pretty for your wedding."

'Not really,' Ranma thought. But it was impossible to argue with Kasumi. She had a tendency to simply breeze past any objections and to do what she thought needed to be done. "Let me take the tuxedo down to Ryoga so he can get dressed," Ranma sighed. She thought maybe she could sneak out before Kasumi got downstairs. Unfortunately, Kasumi merely followed her.

Ryoga stood as the two girls entered the room. "Good afternoon, Kasumi," he said, giving her a slight bow.

"Hello, Ryoga-kun," Kasumi said. "It is so nice to see you. Ranma has told me the good news."

"Good news?" Ryoga asked, confused.

"Here!" Ranma interrupted, shoving the garment bag containing tuxedo at Ryoga. "Come on. You have to get dressed."

"Um, okay," Ryoga said. He took the garment bag and turned and started out the front door.

"Not that way, P-chan!" Ranma said. He hurried over to grab his hand and lead him down the hall to the bathroom. "You can change in here," she said. "And don't leave until I come get you."

"Okay," Ryoga sighed. Ranma closed the door and Ryoga started undressing. He looked over at the water faucet. For a moment, he considered simply changing into his black piglet form and sneaking out to escape this insanity. But what if Ranma was right? What if he really could be free of his Jusenkyo cure? "Then, Akane, we can be together!" Ryoga shouted. He jumped into the furo to wash up before donning the tux.

Down the hall, Kasumi led Ranma into her room. "Okay," Kasumi said. "Let's start getting you ready. Get undressed."

"But…" Ranma protested.

"Oh Ranma," Kasumi said, waving her hand. "Your girl body doesn't have anything I haven't seen before."

Ranma shrugged and started to undress. The bedroom door opened and Nabiki slipped in, a camera dangling from a strap around her neck.

"What are you doing here?" Ranma demanded.

Nabiki held up the camera. "Official wedding photos," she said. "We have to get pictures of the little lady getting ready for her big day."

"I ain't no…" Ranma started to protest, but then saw Kasumi pulling the white silk and lace wedding gown out of the bag and the protest died in her throat. For the first time since she concocted this scheme, she had a twinge of doubt.

Unfortunately, Kasumi brushed them quickly aside by handing her a bra and panties. "Put these on," Kasumi instructed, "and then sit down over here." She indicated the seat at her makeup table.

Ranma took the bra and panties and slipped them on. As usual lately, it was a little disconcerting how little trouble she had putting on the bra. When she had first worn one, she had struggled for what seemed like forever trying to get the darned thing hooked. Now, however, after years of practice, she was able to slip in on with very little effort. Just like a real girl.

Ranma sat in the indicated chair and Kasumi stepped around behind her and started undoing Ranma's ubiquitous braid.

"Hey!" Ranma protested.

"Oh, Ranma. You can't wear a wedding gown with your hair up in a braid," Kasumi chided. "How would you wear the veil?"

"Listen, Kasumi," Ranma said. "This is just…"

"Hand me that brush, Ranma," Kasumi interrupted.

Ranma sighed and reached for the brush.

Click – click – went Nabiki's camera.

After she finished brushing Ranma's hair, Kasumi grabbed her makeup bag. "Now your makeup," she said. "Something simple, I think, but elegant."

Ranma didn't even bother trying to object. Trying to stop Kasumi once she got started was like trying to step in front of a Mack truck. It didn't do you any good and the truck never even noticed.

"Quit fidgeting, Ranma," Kasumi chided as Ranma endured the foundation and blush and powder and mascara and eye shadow and lipstick. "You want to look nice, don't you?"

"Yeah," Nabiki chimed in, clicking away with her camera. "We want you to look nice in the wedding photos, don't we?"

Ranma sighed again and slumped in the chair.

"Sit up," Kasumi commanded. "A young lady should have better posture."

"I ain't no…" Ranma started, but jumped when she felt Kasumi snap something on her ears. "Ouch!" she cried.

"Oh Ranma, don't be a baby," Nabiki sneered. "You've worn earrings before."

Unfortunately, that was true. Ranma had worn makeup and earrings and fancy dresses all before. This was going to be the first time she had voluntarily donned a wedding dress, however. And hopefully the last.

"Now let's get you into your dress," Kasumi said. She helped Ranma to her feet and then helped her pull on the wedding gown.

"Oh, my," Kasumi said, stepping back and appraising Ranma in the dress. "I'm afraid that Akane's dress doesn't fit you so well. Ah well, no matter. We can fix that." She knelt and started to gather and pin up the hem, since in her girl form, Ranma was shorter than Akane. Next she took in the waist, since Ranma also had a smaller waist than Akane. Unfortunately, the bust was also too small since Ranma was, as she liked to point out, considerably more 'stacked' than Akane. This had the effect of pushing Ranma's generous bosom up and out, giving her an almost scandalous décolletage.

Kasumi stepped back. "I'm afraid that's the best I can do," she said. "I wish I had some more time. I could alter the dress. But, oh well. What will be, will be."

She handed Ranma some white high-heeled shoes and stepped around behind to attach the veil while Ranma slipped them on.

Click – click – Nabiki's camera continued.

Kasumi stepped around to the front and made a couple minor adjustments, then turned Ranma to face the full-length mirror.

"Well, what do you think?" she asked.

Ranma gasped. She knew her girl-side was pretty. She used it often enough to distract opponents or to wangle food out of the neighborhood vendors. But the woman in the mirror was stunning.

Kasumi's makeup skills were, not surprisingly, flawless. The blush highlighted Ranma's high cheekbones while the blue and pink eye shadow brought out the vivid blue of Ranma's eyes. Her lips were a luscious red bow. Her dark red hair flowed across her shoulders and down her back, while long earrings dangled from her ears and sparkled in the light.

The white gown accentuated her narrow waist, shapely curves and generous bosom.

Ranma blushed at the vision in the mirror, and the blushing only added a glow that made her that much more beautiful.

"Perfect!" Nabiki chortled. "Kuno alone will pay a fortune for these."

"Come along, Ranma," Kasumi said. "We don't want to keep the groom waiting."

Ranma reluctantly tore her eyes away from the vision in the mirror and allowed Kasumi to take her arm and guide her down the hall to the main room. "Wait here," Kasumi said. "I'll go get Ryoga."

Ranma fidgeted in the middle of the room, her voluminous skirt preventing her from easily sitting down. All the while, Nabiki took more pictures.

"Don't you have enough?" Ranma snapped, equal parts proud and embarrassed to be such a beautiful bride.

"You could give me back the 60,000 yen," Nabiki replied.

"Sixty thousand!" Ranma cried. "Fifty!"

"Oh, did I forget to mention the twenty-percent processing fee?" Nabiki innocently asked.

Ranma rolled her eyes and tugged at the tight bodice.

A gasp from the other side of the room made them both look up.

Ryoga stood in the doorway, looking quite handsome in the tuxedo. He still wore his signature bandana, but had added another as a cummerbund and somehow managed to produce a matching yellow tie. He was staring, open-mouthed at Ranma. His eyes went wide and he reached up quickly to pinch his nose before he could bleed all over the tux.

"Ra- Ra- Ra- Ranma," he stammered.

Ranma shook her head and stepped over to grab Ryoga by the arm. "Come on," she said. "We're going to be late."

"Wait!" Nabiki said. "I need some pictures of the bride and groom together."

That snapped Ryoga out of his daze. "Pictures?" he cried. "No pictures!"

Nabiki sauntered up to him. "That'll be 120,000 yen," she said. "One hundred percent liquidated damages penalty for breach of contract."

"120,000 yen!" Ryoga cried. "Why that's…! That's…!"

"Oh, just get it over with," Ranma said, pulling Ryoga to stand next to her while Nabiki snapped picture after picture. She could Photoshop smiles on their faces later.

"Okay," Ranma finally growled. "That's enough. We need to get moving." She grabbed Ryoga with one hand and his pack with the other and hurried out of the house.

"You know," Kasumi said, as she closed the door behind them. "I'm not so sure this is such a good idea."

Nabiki shook her head. "Ya think?" she asked.

* * *

**Author's note:**_ My first Ranma fan-fic. So what do you think? Worth continuing?_

**Author's note 2: **_Reposted after some editing help from my good friend, who for some unknown reason likes to proofread my stuff. Thanks, P!_


	2. Chapter 2

RANMA, RYOGA, AND THE SHRINE AND MOTEL OF THE GODDESS OF LOVE

Chapter 2

Shampoo peddled down the street, humming happily to herself, a delivery box of ramen balanced on the back of her bicycle. A white and black blur streaked by in front of her, almost knocking her from her bike. She pulled up short, startled at the sight of a bride and groom running down the street so fast that petals were cascading off of the bride's bouquet.

"That remind Shampoo," she said. "Must try that new love potion on future husband, Ranma." She looked back at the delivery and then down the street at the building to which she was heading. "No time like present," she shrugged. She unhooked the boxes and heaved them down the street, flattening the fat man standing in front of the building, who woke moments later to find his ramen order balanced on his chest.

"What service," he moaned, before passing out again.

* * *

Ranma, with Ryoga in tow, skidded to a halt in front of The Newly Remodeled Shrine and Motel of the Goddess of Love. She took a moment to straighten her wedding dress and brush a little lint off of Ryoga's collar. Then she looked down at the bouquet of flowers she had snatched from the garden on the way out of the Tendo dojo. A couple of bedraggled petals clung to the remaining sagging stems. Ranma shrugged and tossed the 'bouquet' away.

"Hey, old man," she said to the monk in the pink robe standing in front of the entrance. "We're here for the wish."

"The wish?" the monk asked, puzzled.

"You know, the boon thingy," Ranma said, pointing at the sign which read, 'Grand Opening Special: A Special Blessing and Boon from the Goddess Herself for the First Couple to Stay in our Romantic Honeymoon Suite.'

"Oh, I'm sorry," the monk said. "The honeymoon suite is already booked for the evening. By a…" he consulted a note in his hand, "Ranma Saotome. I am waiting for him and his bride to arrive."

"I'm Ranma," Ranma said, pointing a thumb at her chest. The monk followed her thumb to the bounteous bosom to which it pointed and a bead of sweat appeared on the top of his bald head.

"But you're… Mr. Saotome was… I don't…" the monk stammered.

"Here," Ranma said, thrusting the 50,000 yen she had borrowed from Nabiki at the monk. "Now do we get the wish or what?"

The monk grabbed the money and it disappeared into his robes in a flash. "Ah, Ms. Saotome. A pleasure to have you here at The Newly Remodeled Shrine and Motel of the Goddess of Love. And this is your husband?"

"Say hello, _dear_," Ranma said, jabbing his elbow into the ribs of a dazed Ryoga Hibiki.

"Ryoga Hibiki," Ryoga said, blinking at the monk.

"Ah, so you're now Ranma Hibiki," the monk said, turning back to Ranma.

Ranma swallowed back the bile rising in her throat at the very thought of being 'Ranma Hibiki.' "Um, yeah. Yeah, that's right. Ranma Hibiki. Ryoga's my new husband."

"Very good, very good," the monk said. "Come in, please, won't you? We'll get you newlyweds registered."

The monk stepped through the large, wooden doors into the courtyard of the shrine. He glanced back over his shoulder at the lovely young woman leading her dazed husband through the door. Ah well, many men looked a little dazed after getting married. Especially when their bride was as beautiful as this young man's was. Yes, yes. This would work out well. The attractive couple, the first newlyweds to stay in The Newly Remodeled Shrine and Motel of the Goddess of Love's honeymoon suite, would look very nice on the brochures and billboards for the shrine.

The monk led Ranma and Ryoga to the front desk. He pulled out a massive guest book and turned to the first page. "So, Mr. and Mrs. Ryoga Hibiki, correct?" he asked.

"That's correct," Ranma said, lapsing into 'cute' mode and batting her eyes at the monk. She had found that using her 'feminine wiles' to keep guys off balance precluded too many questions.

"May I see the marriage license?" the monk asked.

"The wha-?" Ranma stammered.

"The marriage license," the monk, said. "You do have your marriage license, don't you?"

"We, ah, must have forgotten it," Ranma said quickly.

The monk frowned. "You understand, we have a certain reputation to uphold," he said. "We can't have just anyone staying in our honeymoon suite. It could cause a scandal! I'm afraid without a marriage license…"

Ranma cocked her head to the side, clasped her hands over her breasts, and batted her eyelashes at the monk. "Oh dear," she said. "Isn't there something you could do? We were so looking forward to spending our honeymoon here, weren't we sweetums?" She elbowed Ryoga again.

"Um, ah, yes," Ryoga stammered. "Yes, that's right, _my little sweet pea_." He said this last through gritted teeth.

The monk scratched his chin. "Well," he said. "We have some forms here. I guess we could fill one out and use that as the marriage license."

"Oh, could you?" Ranma gushed. "That would be so sweet of you."

"Yeah, just swell," Ryoga added.

The monk reached under the counter and pulled out a long sheet of parchment. Then he picked up his pen, flicked it across his tongue, and placed it with a flourish on the first blank on the form. "Groom's full name?" he asked.

Ten minutes later, after giving their names, parents names, addresses, blood types, and a host of other information, the monk declared the form complete. He looked it over, and then paused. "Oh dear," he said.

"What now?" Ranma asked.

"Well, the form has to be signed by the official presiding at the ceremony to be valid," the monk said.

Ranma batted her eyes again. "Can't we just… forget that part?" she asked, waving her white-gloved hand dismissively over the form.

"Oh, heavens no," the monk said. "This is an _official_ form. We could get in trouble if we…" He paused. "Wait! I know! _I _could sign the form as the presiding official!"

"Oh, could you?" Ranma asked.

"Of course," the monk said. "As a cleric of the Goddess of Love, I'm empowered to preside at wedding ceremonies."

"Wonderful!" Ranma said.

"All I have to do is perform the ceremony."

"What?" Ryoga exclaimed.

"Oh, it will just be a formality," the monk said. "After all, you're already married."

"Oh, can't you just sign the form?" Ranma asked.

"Oh, no. I couldn't do that," the monk said. "That would be dishonest. What would the Goddess say?"

"But… but…" Ryoga stammered.

"Come along," the monk said. "The chapel is this way." He opened a door behind the front desk. "Hey, get out here!" he called through the door. "We need to do a quick wedding ceremony." Then he strode out from around the counter and down another hallway.

"Ranma…" Ryoga hissed.

"Come on," Ranma said, pulling Ryoga by the arm. "Let's get this over with. It's not like we're really going to be married. We're both guys. Guys can't really marry guys. Just play along."

The chapel at the shrine was a small, candle-filled space of gleaming white marble with pink and red bunting scattered liberally throughout. At the front was a statue of a beautiful woman in flowing robes. Before her was an altar on a small dais. The monk grabbed Ryoga. "Come on," he said, pulling the Lost Boy to the front of the chapel. Ranma started to follow, but someone grabbed her by the arm. She spun to face them, hands flying up to ward off the expected attack.

Instead, she was faced with two young women in pink robes who smiled and giggled. "Hello, Mistress," they said in unison. "We are Ling and Lang. We are acolytes here at the temple. You need to wait for the music to start." One of them – Ranma wasn't sure which was Ling and which was Lang – handed her a bouquet of white roses.

The old monk took his place at the front of the chapel, Ryoga standing beside and a little in front of him, a dazed look on his face. He did look rather handsome, Ranma mused, despite the glassy look of his eyes. Her friend and rival would make some lucky woman a good husband someday. Provided they didn't mind a husband who turned into a little black piglet now and again and disappeared for months on end.

The monk nodded and an organ started playing the Wedding March. "Come along, Mistress," Ling and Lang said, and then started up the aisle, strewing rose petals ahead of Ranma, who strode along behind them.

"Let's just get this over with," Ranma muttered.

Ling and Lang took up positions on either side of the monk.

Ryoga turned to watch Ranma. No stately walk for this bride. Still, watching her come up the aisle, Ryoga felt his breath catch. She really was beautiful, even if she was practically stomping up the aisle.

'No, no, no,' he thought. 'That's Ranma, not a real girl. Your long-standing enemy and rival. The bane of your existence.' Still, she _was_ breathtaking. Her long red hair cascaded off her shoulders and billowed behind her like flowing water.

'If only someday my real bride could be so beautiful,' Ryoga thought. 'Even Akane…' He mentally slapped himself. He was about to think that even Akane paled in comparison to the lovely young woman coming up the aisle. _But this was Ranma_! How on earth did he let her talk him into this insanity? Still, it was nice to pretend that he was really getting married to such a lovely creature.

_No! Stop it! It's RANMA!_

Ryoga averted his eyes, studying his reflection in the tops of his patent leather shoes.

Ranma reached the front of the chapel and stood beside Ryoga, her eyes focused straight ahead at a spot on the wall behind the monk.

"Please hold hands," the monk said.

Ranma and Ryoga each blushed and slowly raised their hands until they touched. Then Ryoga slipped his large, calloused fingers around Ranma's dainty ones. 'Her hand is so soft,' he thought. 'So warm.'

"Dearly beloved," the monk intoned. "We are gathered here today to unite this man and this woman in the eternal bonds of Holy Matrimony. Marriage is a blessed state, not to be entered into lightly. It is a struggle to keep the glow of love alive through the long, tedious years that follow the initial blush of passion. Yet with the blessing of the Goddess, her name be ever praised, that love can grow and deepen and, with the consolation of many, many children, that love can endure to the end of time."

Ranma made a little gagging noise deep in her throat.

The monk turned to Ranma. "Do you, Ranma Saotome, take this man as your lawful wedded husband; to love, honor and obey from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health until death do you part?"

"Yeah, whatever," Ranma said.

The monk then turned to Ryoga. "And do you, Ryoga Hibiki, take this woman as your lawful wedded wife; to love, honor and cherish from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health until death do you part?"

Ryoga stood there, looking stunned. His mouth moved, but nothing came out.

"Say 'I do'," the monk prompted.

"I… I…" Ryoga stammered. Ranma jabbed him, hard, with her elbow. "Dooooo," Ryoga exhaled painfully.

"Do you have the rings?" the monk asked.

"What rings?" Ranma asked.

The monk rolled his eyes. "You two really are unprepared for marriage, aren't you? Fortunately, we here at The Newly Remodeled Shrine and Motel of the Goddess of Love are always prepared. Ling? Lang? Rings."

The two acolytes rushed off and returned a moment later with two rings: one a plain man's gold band; the other a woman's band with a small diamond. The girls dropped the rings in the monk's hand. "Here you go, Master," they said in unison.

The monk took the rings in the palm of his right hand, turned and held his hand up to the statute of the goddess. "Oh Great Goddess," he intoned, "your blessing be upon these rings and those who wear them, that they may be worthy symbols of their love for one other."

He turned and handed the woman's ring to Ryoga. "Put this on her finger," the monk said, nodding toward Ranma. "And repeat after me: 'Ranma, take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. May the unbroken circle be a sign of the endlessness of my love for you."

Ryoga took the ring from the monk, jammed it on Ranma's finger, and said, "Here."

"Um, close enough, I guess," the monk said. He handed the other ring to Ranma. "Put his on his finger and repeat after me: Ryoga, take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. May the unbroken circle be a sign of the endlessness of my love for you."

Ranma jammed the ring on Ryoga's finger. "What he said," she said, jerking her head toward the monk.

The monk shrugged. They might be a cute couple, but they each seemed a few bricks shy of a load. "Now, by the powers of the Goddess, and the authority vested in me by the competent civil authorities, I pronounce you husband and wife. What we have joined here today, no man may split asunder."

He turned and smiled at Ryoga. "You may kiss the bride," he said.

Ryoga turned and looked at Ranma. He could feel a heavy weight in the pit of his stomach. Kiss the bride? But the bride was _Ranma_! He couldn't kiss Ranma. Ranma was a guy.

Although…

Ranma certainly didn't _look_ like a guy right now. In fact, Ryoga wasn't sure that he had ever seen a more beautiful girl. Even Akane… No! Don't think like that! He screwed his eyes shut and tried to imagine Akane. That's it, think about Akane, your true love.

The monk was looking expectantly from Ryoga to Ranma and back again. It was obvious he wasn't going to continue the ceremony until the couple kissed. Ranma rolled her eyes. Ryoga seemed frozen in place. She sighed, closed her eyes, puckered up, and leaned in toward Ryoga.

Ryoga's attempts to imagine Akane's beautiful smile were interrupted by the feel of soft lips pressing lightly against his. Startled but delighted that Akane would kiss him, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close, deepening the kiss.

Ranma's eyes flew open. Ryoga was _kissing_ her. And not a light peck on the lips kiss, which is what she had intended. A full-blown, lip-mashing, body to body, toe-curling _kiss_.

Ranma tried to pull away, but Ryoga had always been stronger than she was, especially when she was in her girl form. She struggled, but Ryoga's crushing hug had pinned her arms to her sides. She tried to tell him to stop, but with Ryoga's lips pressed to tightly against hers, all she could manage was "Mmmmm! Mmmmm!"

Ryoga was in heaven. He could feel the girl snuggling up against him and moaning with pleasure. He hugged her tighter.

Too tight! She couldn't breath! Ranma's struggling slowed, then stopped. She was moments away from passing out all together.

The monk smiled beatifically. Ah, the two were so obviously in love. Just look at the passion of their kiss. But as the kiss stretched for a minute, then two, the bride seemed to go limp in the groom's arms. Perhaps it was best if the groom saved some of his ardor for the bridal suite. He tapped Ryoga on the shoulder. "Excuse me, young man!"

Ryoga was oblivious to the monk's attempts to pry the couple apart. This was so perfect! Here he was kissing his wife, the beautiful Ranma. Wait… Ranma?

Ryoga's eyes flew open…

This was getting ridiculous, the monk thought. Unable to pry the two young lovers apart, he grabbed a nearby flower vase, tossed out the flowers, and threw the water in the vase on the newlyweds.

Ranma had been almost at the point of passing out, thanks to the combination of Ryoga's passionate kiss and crushing hug. Almost, that is, until the monk splashed her and Ryoga with a vase full of flower-scented water. Suddenly, Ranma found herself lips to lips with a little black pig.

"Ahhhhh!" she cried and flung the piglet across the chapel. P-chan slammed into the wall and bounced right back, smacking into Ranma's chest and glomming onto the first thing he hit – Ranma's bosom.

"You pervert!" Ranma cried, and smacked the pig against the wall again.

P-chan slammed into the wall again, this time with a 'splat' and, knocked temporarily senseless, he slid down the wall and 'plopped' against the floor. There was a contented smile on his little piggy face and a thin stream of blood oozed out of his little piggy snout.

"A most unusual ceremony," the monk said, shaking his head.

A dripping Ranma turned to the monk. "Now what about that wish?" she said.

"So sorry, Honorable Mrs. Hibiki," the monk said with a bow. "The blessing and boon can only be given after the husband and wife have spent the night in the bridal suite. That was the point, after all. I am afraid that since your husband is now a pig…"

"You got any hot water?" Ranma interrupted.

"Of course," the monk said. "The honeymoon suite is equipped with both a Jacuzzi and a hot tub."

Ranma walked over and picked up the little black pig. "Well, then," she said, "let's get this honeymoon started."

Ling and Lang, the two acolytes, giggled.

* * *

**Author's Note**: _Thanks for all the reviews and encouragement to continue. Thanks also to my good friend for editing this chapter before posting. Everyone give P a waive [sic]._

_Fair warning, although I am trying to stick close to the anime/manga characters we all know and love, I will be lapsing occasionally into rabid OOC territory. (I know, I know, kind of late to disclose that now). But isn't that what fan-fiction is about? The chance to play with our favorite characters and make them do what _we_ want them to do?_

_Besides, I personally think that Ranma-chan and Ryoga make a cute couple._


	3. Chapter 3

RANMA, RYOGA, AND THE SHRINE AND MOTEL OF THE GODDESS OF LOVE

Chapter 3

Ryoga seemed to be floating on a cloud. A warm, wet, envelope-your-body-in-bubbling-chlorinated-water cloud. He sighed contentedly. At least that weird nightmare wherein he had married Ranma was over. He slowly opened his eyes...

... and immediately slammed them shut.

That was _not_ a female, bare-breasted Ranma sitting in the hot tub across from him.

He cracked one eye barely open and hazarded another quick peek.

"About time you woke up, P-chan," Ranma growled.

Ryoga closed his eyes tightly again. "Still dreaming," he muttered. "Still dreaming."

"Oh stop it," Ranma said, splashing water into Ryoga's face.

Ryoga sputtered and spit, then opened his eyes. "But Ranma... It's hot water... You're still a... You have..." He looked up into her blue eyes before the sight of her bare breasts caused an eruption of blood to gush out of his nose.

"A girl," Ranma said. "I'm still a girl. Yes, I know."

"But... But... How?" Ryoga asked.

"Those ding-a-lings Ling and Lang insisted that I had to get into the hot tub with you... since it's our wedding night and all. I knew you kept some water-proof soap in your backpack for emergencies, so I washed with it before I climbed in the hot tub."

"Our... wedding night?" Ryoga moaned. "Then it wasn't a dream!"

"Hey," Ranma said. "This ain't exactly a picnic for me, either, pig-breath. But we gotta stick it out through the night or we won't get our wish come morning."

"I swear, once this is over, you are so dead, Ranma," Ryoga hissed. "Once again, you have made my life..."

"Greetings, newlyweds," two loud but syrupy-sweet voices interrupted in unison. "Are you ready for dinner?"

"Dinner!" Ranma shouted, scrambling out of the hot tub and nearly drowning Ryoga in the process. "I'm _starved_!"

Ling and Lang entered the little cedar hot tub room. One had an armful of towels. The other held two white silk robes: one marked 'His' and one marked 'Hers.'

Ranma grabbed a towel and started to dry off. Ryoga struggled out of the hot tub.

Ranma grabbed the robe marked 'His' and pulled it on. It pooled about her feet and the sleeves covered her hands.

"I believe that's my robe," Ryoga said, toweling himself off.

"Finders keepers," Ranma said, sticking her tongue out.

Ryoga looked over at the 'Hers' robe one of the acolytes (he couldn't tell Ling from Lang) was holding. "I am not wearing that," he rumbled. Then, slowly, a smile crossed his face. He cleared his throat. "Ah, dear wife? Give me my robe, please."

Ranma's eyes narrowed. "In your dreams," she said.

Ryoga's smile widened as he turned to Ling and Lang. "My _wife_ seems to have forgotten that as part of the marriage vows, she promised to love, honor and _obey_," he said.

"Oh yes, that's right," the two acolytes giggled. "It is a wife's sacred duty to obey her husband in all things."

"Hear that, Ranma?" Ryoga asked. "Sacred duty."

Ranma's mouth moved, but no words came out.

"Of course," Ryoga continued. "If I married a woman to whom honor means nothing. A woman who does not intend to carry out her vow..."

Splat! Ryoga was hit in the face by a silk men's robe. He smirked and started pulling it on while Ranma took the 'Hers' robe from the giggling acolytes.

"Where's the food?" Ranma snarled.

Ryoga grinned broadly. Maybe there was a silver lining to this nightmare after all. He took Ranma's arm. "Please, ladies, show _my obedient wife_ and me where dinner is served."

* * *

A small dining room had been set aside for the 'happy couple.' A low table was covered with an assortment of oysters on the half-shell, oysters Rockefeller, oyster cocktails and champagne oysters. Next to the table was a silver ice bucket in which a bottle of champagne was chilling. The table was set formally, with a myriad of plates and silverware in a dazzlingly confusing array. Flutes of champagne bubbled happily in front of each of the place settings.

Ranma jumped into a chair and started reaching for some oysters.

"Wait!" a booming voice commanded.

The old monk walked in, dressed rather incongruously as a maitre d'. Ranma looked over at him and frowned. The monk ignored the dangerous look, reached in front of her, snapped her napkin open and laid it carefully in her lap. He started around the other side of the table, but Ryoga grabbed his napkin and threw it in his lap before the monk could do the same for him.

The monk shrugged and clapped his hands twice. Ling and Lang came in, dressed in identical French maid outfits. One carried a tray with two cups. The other carried a tray with a small bottle.

The monk set a cup down first in front of Ranma, then Ryoga. He picked up the small bottle. "Warm sake?" he asked.

Ranma shrugged. It was paid for. "Why not?" she said.

The monk poured a little in her cup and then immediately poured some in Ryoga's cup. After all, a husband couldn't let his wife drink alone.

Ranma picked up the cup and tossed it back the way she had seen her father do hundreds of times. The warm liquid burned its way down her throat and she started coughing violently. 'Burns' she thought. 'Burns! Liquid fire!' She grabbed the nearest glass, which contained some kind of pale bubbly liquid, and tossed it down after the sake.

The new liquid was only slightly less painful then the first. But this one had the added effect of tickling her nose with its tiny bubbles. She sneezed.

Ryoga grinned and sipped his sake.

"Enough of this fooling around," Ranma said. "I'm _hungry_." Then she and Ryoga set about devouring every oyster on the table in an apparent homage to their bread feud.

"Ah, so glad that you liked it," the monk said, beaming. "It is refreshing to see such healthy appetites. But then, I suppose you must build up your strength for the honeymoon night, eh?" He gave Ryoga a faux-conspiratorial wink. Ryoga tried to ignore the comment, but it was like telling someone 'Don't think about an elephant.' Suddenly, all Ryoga could think about was having to share the honeymoon suite with a very female Ranma.

The monk, oblivious to the fact that all the color had drained from Ryoga's face, turned to Ling and Lang. "Bring out the next course," he said.

What followed was an orgy of foods reputed to be aphrodisiacs: aniseed, asparagus, almonds, coriander, fennel, figs, pine nuts, truffles, and a rich chocolate soufflé for dessert. All washed down with copious amounts of sake and champagne.

Ranma sat back and patted her bulging tummy. Ryoga was a fast eater, but he was no Genma Saotome. Ranma ate more than her share of the food, but Ryoga didn't seem concerned. He, likewise, was sitting back with a contented look on his face. He smiled and gave a loud belch.

"Must be the champagne," he slurred.

"Lightweight," Ranma snorted and stood up. The blood seemed to rush to her head. She flushed and staggered a little, suddenly dizzy. "Whoa!" she said. "Been sitting too long. Come on, hubby-poo. It's time for beddy-bye."

Ryoga offered Ranma his arm. "Come along, wifey. The bridal chamber awaits."

A giggling Ling and Lang led the pair down the hallway to a large red door upon which was emblazed the words, 'Honeymoon Suite.'

"Must be the place," Ranma said with a little hiccup.

She threw the door open and started through.

"Wait!" Ling and Lang cried. "The groom must carry his bride across the threshold. It is tradition."

"He ain't carrying me," Ranma said.

"Oh yes I am," Ryoga countered, sweeping Ranma up in his arms and barging through the door.

"Put me down!" Ranma demanded.

"Okay," Ryoga replied, and promptly let go. Ranma hit the floor with a 'thud.'

"Thank you," Ranma said.

"You are welcome, my lady," Ryoga said with a bow.

"Please come with me," Ling or Lang said, pulling Ranma to her feet and leading her into the suite's bathroom.

Ryoga shrugged and looked around. A giant heart-shaped bed with satin sheets dominated the room. Above the bed was a mirror in the same heart shape and size as the bed. The bed was flanked by a pair of winged cherub statues and the walls were pink with red draperies and carpet.

"Looks like cupid threw up in here," Ryoga muttered.

Ling or Lang - whichever it was - handed Ryoga a pair of white silk pajama pants and a red and black silk and velvet smoking jacket. "For the groom," she said.

"Oh, I guess that's me," Ryoga said, dropping his robe and pulling on the pants and then the jacket.

The acolyte pushed Ryoga back and he plopped on the bed.

The other one came out of the bathroom, looked at Ryoga and giggled. "Your bride will be out shortly," she said.

"Have fun," Ling and Lang said together, and then hurried from the room.

Ryoga yawned and looked over at the bathroom door.

The door slowly opened. "Close your eyes!" Ranma yelled from inside the bathroom.

"What? Why?" Ryoga asked.

"Just close them," Ranma called.

"No," Ryoga said.

"Then I'm not coming out," Ranma said.

"Fine," Ryoga replied. "You can sleep in there."

There was a low, muttered curse, and then Ranma stepped out of the bathroom.

Ryoga's eyes went wide. Ranma was wearing a white lace teddy, garters and white stockings. Her makeup had been repaired and freshened.

She looked absolutely stunning.

"Wow!" Ryoga said with a whistle. "Ranma you look... You're gorgeous."

Ranma blushed. She had always been proud of her girl-side and loved to be complimented. "You really think so?" she asked, coyly.

"Oh yeah," Ryoga said. "I mean. You're... You look..."

"Well don't get any ideas," Ranma said. She stomped across the room, slipped in under the covers, and in moments was snoring loudly.

Ryoga sat in bed for a few minutes, watching the slow rise and fall of Ranma's chest. She really was incredibly beautiful, he thought. And, he had to admit, she looked damned sexy in that bridal lingerie.

He considered a cold shower, but that would just change him into P-chan. He sighed, leaned over, and kissed Ranma lightly on the top of her head. "Good night, Ranma," he said. "It was kind of fun pretending you were really my wife."

Then he scooted as far over to his side of the bed as possible, turned his back on the snoring angel beside him, and willed himself to sleep.

* * *

**Author's note: **_Okay, be honest. Raise your hands. How many were expecting one of those "Ranma and Ryoga get drunk and end up 'doing it' fics?" Oh yes, and how many were expecting that the fic would be about Ranma being pregnant as the result of a drunken one night stand? C'mon. Be honest. How many are still expecting that?_

_Bah! It's been done to death. I have something else in mind for our poor newlyweds. evil laugh._

_Thanks again to my editor/proofreader and to all who have reviewed and added this story to their 'Favorites.'_

_Additional reviews gratefully accepted._


	4. Chapter 4

RANMA, RYOGA, AND THE SHRINE AND MOTEL OF THE GODDESS OF LOVE

Chapter 4

There are few things in life quite as comfortable as a warm, soft bed in that morning twilight world between sleeping and wakefulness. For someone like Ranma, who was usually awoken by his father whacking him or Akane yelling at him or Nabiki pouring cold water over him, it was even more blissful. She felt so safe and warm, wrapped in the strong arms that held her close. Another's body spooned against...

Ranma's eyes went wide. Spooning? She was spooning?

She struggled for a moment against the enveloping arms, but it was like trying to bend steel. No, wait. She could bend steel. These arms were stronger than steel.

Ryoga!

Only Ryoga was strong enough to hold her so tightly she couldn't move. She stopped struggling and held very still. The events of yesterday came flooding back. The wedding. The dinner. The heart-shaped bed.

Remembering the bed, she glanced up at the ceiling, at the mirror above the bed. Two bodies were intertwined in the center of the red, heart-shaped bed. To all outward appearances, it looked like an attractive young couple clearly in love: the buxom, red-headed woman in a daring, white silk teddy, and the chiseled, handsome young man- bare-chested but wearing white silk pajama bottoms.

It was all Ryoga's fault, Ranma thought. Clearly she hadn't initiated the intimate contact. She distinctly remembered going to sleep all the way on her side of the bed. But then… she _was_ in the center of the bed now.

She grabbed hold of Ryoga's arm and tried with all her might to pry it away. Ryoga simply muttered something unintelligible and shifted slightly to hold her even tighter. Ranma quit struggling. It was hopeless.

She sighed, leaned back into Ryoga's warm body, and closed her eyes. For all the awkwardness of her situation, it did feel kind of nice. It was one of the tragedies of Ranma's existence that he had rarely been simply _held_ by someone. Groped, grappled, glommed onto, yes… but rarely hugged. Taken by his father away from his mother on a training trip at a tender, young age, he had been deprived of his mother's gentle touch. And his father thought all expressions of tenderness were 'unmanly.'

So it did feel kind of nice to have Ryoga cradle her in his arms, even though Ryoga probably didn't even know he was doing it. Since there really wasn't any other choice, she decided to close her eyes, pretend to still be asleep, and revel in the simple pleasure of a body pressed close against hers. At least for a little while, she could pretend like someone was showing her real tenderness.

* * *

Ryoga came slowly awake. For someone used to sleeping on a mat on the ground, or at best, on the floor of his tent, the warm, soft bed was a welcome luxury. It felt so good that he didn't want to open his eyes. And there was the added bonus of the silk-encased female body spooned up against his. He groaned softly in the sheer pleasure of it and pulled her closer…

He gasped in surprise and his eyes sprang open to find his vision filled with a riotous mass of silky red hair.

He froze.

Ranma!

He was in bed with Ranma!

Not only was he in bed with her, but she was snuggled up against him, her curves pressed up against his body like puzzle pieces fitted together.

How did this happen?

Slowly, memories of the night before began to filter into his brain. The wedding. The dinner. The heart-shaped bed. The gorgeous woman in the curve-hugging silk teddy coming out of the bathroom and climbing into bed with him.

No! No! Don't be thinking like that! This was _Ranma_! His rival. His enemy. A _guy_!

And yet…

Guys didn't feel this nice pressed up against you. At least, he didn't think they would. They couldn't. Guys were all angles and hard edges. Women were all soft and round and…

Stop it!

This was _Ranma_!

Ryoga bit his bottom lip as his mind frantically tried to process some way out of this mess. Clearly this was Ranma's fault. He should simply boot her across the room for being such a pervert.

And yet…

He remembered her going to sleep all the way on her side of the bed. How did they end up here, in the middle of the bed, spooned together? It was some kind of trick. Maybe those two giggling acolytes, Ling and Lang, had come in in the middle of the night and pushed them together. Yeah. That must be it. It certainly couldn't be that they had somehow gravitated together in the night, drawn to each other in some kind of male/female magnetism.

At least she was still asleep. Maybe he could extract himself before she woke up. Then she would never have to know that they had been snuggling together. All he had to do was pull his arm out from under her. Ranma was a heavy sleeper. It should be a piece of cake.

He took a deep breath and willed his left arm to move.

But it didn't.

Having Ranma sleeping on it had caused his arm to fall asleep.

Slowly, ever so slowly, he lifted his right arm away from her body and rolled onto his back. There. Now he was lying flat on the bed, with Ranma asleep on his pinned left arm.

He let out a sigh and looked up, into the mirror above the bed.

He let out a little gasp.

What a picture they made! Anyone coming in now would think them a real couple – husband and wife lying together on their honeymoon bed. Ryoga felt a little pang of regret. Would he ever really be a picture of such domestic bliss?

He was so shy and awkward around women. Well, real women. He wasn't shy around Ranma. If only he could be so comfortable around Akane. When he wasn't a pig, that is.

How ironic! For someone so shy, he certainly spent a lot of time in women's beds snuggling with them. Except in order to do so, either he had to be a pig or the woman had to really be a guy.

He mentally shook his head. Enough of this. Get up, get dressed, and get out of this madhouse, he told himself.

If only he could move his left arm.

* * *

Ranma felt Ryoga shift and slowly unwrap his right arm from around her. She suppressed a shiver. After the warmth of his body pressed up against hers, she suddenly felt cold.

It had to be the air conditioning turned down too low. She certainly hadn't been enjoying being wrapped in Ryoga's strong arms.

She felt Ryoga shift and roll onto his back. Now all he had to do was pull his left arm away and they would be apart. Then she could pretend to suddenly awaken.

She waited. Ryoga's arm didn't move.

Was he still asleep? Did he simply roll away from her in his sleep, subconsciously trying to get away from her?

She ever-so-slightly cracked her right eye and looked up at the mirror.

Ryoga was awake. He was simply lying there, looking up at the mirror, an odd expression on his face.

So why didn't he pull away and get up?

Surely he didn't _like_ touching Ranma like this?

The pervert.

And yet…

She wasn't moving either.

Of course she was pretending to be asleep.

All she had to do was roll to her left, away from him, still 'asleep.'

Of course, she could always roll to her right and press against him once again, to feel the warmth of his body pressed against hers. It might be kind of fun to do that, just to see what he would do. It wouldn't be the first time she had teased Ryoga with her female body.

And yet…

It felt different this time. The thought of pressing up against him didn't seem like harmless fun. It felt somehow more serious, more… sensual.

That did it.

She leapt out of bed and turned to glare at Ryoga.

"What were you doing, you pervert?" she demanded.

Ryoga sat up and blinked at her in surprise. Standing there, her hands on her hips, her eyes flashing with anger, Ranma paradoxically looked more like a woman than Ryoga had ever seen her. "Wha- What?" he asked.

"I felt you touching me," she accused. "What? Couldn't keep your hands off me in the middle of the night? Couldn't stay on your side of the bed?"

"I… I…" Ryoga stammered. Then he felt his anger rising. "Hey! I stayed on my side of the bed. It was _you_! _You're_ the one who snuggled up against _me_ in the middle of the night!"

"I did no such thing," Ranma said. "I'm a _guy_, Ryoga. I don't snuggle with other guys."

"You don't look much like a guy right now," Ryoga countered. "I don't know many guys who would wear something like _that_ to bed."

Ranma started to reply, when the door to the suite burst open and Ling and Lang came dancing in.

"Good morning, newlyweds!" they gushed in unison. "Did you sleep well?"

Ling looked at Lang and smirked. "If they got any sleep at all."

"It is their honeymoon after all," Lang replied, a knowing gleam in her eye.

Ranma frowned at them. "Just give us our wish and let us get out of here," she said.

"Oh my," they said together.

"Someone clearly isn't a morning person," Ling said.

"Must be lack of sleep," Lang replied, nodding sagely.

"Well, we have to get you dressed," Ling said.

"Then we'll take you into the shrine so you can petition the goddess," Lang continued.

"Fine," Ranma said. "Let's get it over with."

* * *

Ling and Lang were horrified to find that Ranma had nothing to wear other than her wedding dress.

"Some people have donated clothing to the Shrine," Ling said.

"We'll go pick you out a nice dress to wear," Lang said.

"You can't go running around in your wedding dress," Ling said.

"That's just for the wedding," Lang said.

"Why don't you take a bath?" Ling said.

"And we'll be back in a minute with the dress," Lang said.

Ranma shrugged and started filling the bathtub. Out of habit, she poured a bucket of cold water over her head, grabbed a bar of soap, and started scrubbing. Then she cursed silently when she saw that she had accidently grabbed the bar of water-proof soap she had left in the bathroom the night before.

"Great," she muttered. "Just great."

The door to the bathroom opened and Ryoga stumbled in, rubbing his eyes.

"Here," Ranma said, tossing him the bar of soap. "It's the water-proof soap I borrowed from your backpack."

"Why are you washing with that?" Ryoga asked.

"Well I didn't mean to," Ranma whined. "I forgot I left it in here and I grabbed it this morning by mistake."

Ryoga looked at it and shrugged. "Well, as long as it's out…" he said. Then he started soaping up with it.

The door to the bathroom flew open and Ling and Lang danced in, each holding a dress. "We brought you two so you could choose," they said together. "Pick one."

Ranma rolled her eyes. "I don't care," she said.

"This one compliments your eyes," Ling said.

"This one compliments your coloring," Lang said.

Ranma stomped over and grabbed the nearer dress, a deep blue silk dress with a slit up the side and a fitted bodice.

"Out! Out!" Ling and Lang said to Ryoga.

"We have to get her ready to meet the goddess," Ling said.

"And she'll want to look nice for her new husband," Lang said.

Ranma gave Ryoga a pleading, don't-leave-me-alone-with-these-lunatics look, but Ryoga simply smirked, grabbed a towel, and strode toward the bathroom door. "See you in a bit, _sweetie_," he said over his shoulder.

Ling and Lang set to Ranma's preparations with a vengeance, fixing her hair, makeup and clothing in preparation for her appearance before the goddess. If anything, they were even more skilled than Kasumi at makeup. When they were done, they pulled Ranma in front of the mirror and giggled.

Times like these made it very hard for Ranma to think of herself as a 'man among men.' There was nothing remotely male about the beautiful woman in the mirror with her flowing red hair and curve-hugging dress.

'I'm a guy,' she told herself. 'I'm a guy." But the voice rang hollow in her head.

She shook her head to clear it, but that only made her loose hair tickle her skin and her long, dangling earrings tickle her shoulders.

"Come along," Ling and Lang said. "Your husband is waiting."

"Let's get this over with," Ranma said. 'So I can turn back into a guy,' she added silently. Ling and Lang started out of the bathroom. Ranma turned and took once last glance at the beautiful girl in the mirror. For some reason, she was a little embarrassed to have Ryoga see her looking so feminine.

* * *

Ryoga had finished dressing in his typical attire of yellow shirt, black pants, and black and yellow bandanna and was sitting on the edge of the bed, waiting. What was taking so long? How long did it take Ranma to get dressed, anyway?

"Huh, typical woman," he muttered. "Taking forever to get ready." He smirked at that. He'd have to throw that little dig at Ranma when she finally emerged from the bathroom. It would serve her right for the hell she had put him through, especially this whole hare-brained 'honeymoon' scheme.

He waited. And waited.

He started mentally practicing a kata.

Finally, the door to the bathroom flew open. Ling and Lang danced out and took up positions on either side of the doorway.

"So, Ranma," Ryoga began. "Just like a…"

The taunt died on his lips. Ranma stood, framed by the bathroom doorway and backlit by the light from the bathroom. She was looking down and blushing slightly.

Ryoga realized that his mouth was hanging open and quickly shut it.

"R- Ranma," he stammered.

"Yeah," Ranma said, looking up. "The giggle twins here insisted on me getting dressed up like this."

Ling and Lang giggled.

"Isn't she beautiful?" Ling asked Ryoga.

"Yes, you're a lucky man," Lang said.

"I, um, we should go see the goddess and get our wish," Ryoga said.

"Um, yeah," Ranma agreed.

"Right," Ryoga said suddenly, turned, and started striding for the door.

"Stop!" Ling and Lang cried together.

Ryoga stopped and turned around.

"You have to go together," Ling said.

"You should give her your arm," Lang said.

Ryoga gritted his teeth and held out his arm to Ranma. "Shall we go, _my dear_," he said, his teeth grinding on the last two words.

Ranma stepped over to Ryoga, her steps mincing as a result of the high-heeled shoes Ling and Lang insisted she wear. She laid her hand very lightly on Ryoga's arm, almost as if she was afraid to touch him.

"Follow us," Ling and Lang said. "The goddess awaits."

* * *

**Author's Note:** _Sorry for the long delay between chapters. Real Life got in the way._

_Thanks to everyone who reviewed the previous chapters and special thanks to my proofreader/editor for her fast but cogent comments and corrections._


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note: _No, faithful readers. I have abandoned neither you, nor this story. Alas, Real Life and other commitments substantially delayed this, the latest installment. Thank you for all the kind reviews, etc. with regard to the story so far, and thanks to the incomparable __**P**__ who edited this chapter._

RANMA, RYOGA, AND THE SHRINE AND MOTEL OF THE GODDESS OF LOVE

Chapter 5

The old monk was waiting outside the door to the Honeymoon Suite. In anticipation of the audience with the goddess this morning, he had put on a freshly-pressed pink robe.

He broke into a huge smile at the sight of Ranma and Ryoga. Really, he couldn't have picked a more handsome couple as the 'poster children' for the Newly Remodeled Shrine and Motel of the Goddess of Love: young, healthy, attractive, and obviously very much in love. Well, the boy's clothing left a little to be desired. They looked like travelling clothes. But one couldn't have everything. The girl, however…. The girl was a vision worthy of the goddess herself.

"Good morning!" he said. "The goddess' blessings be upon our happy couple."

"Whatever, old man," Ranma said. "Just call this goddess of yours and get us our wish so we can get out of here."

"But, we have a special honeymoon breakfast prepared," the monk said.

It was a measure of how flustered she was that Ranma turned down a free meal. "Let's just get it over with," she said.

The monk frowned, but then he shrugged. "As you wish," he said. "Follow me to the shrine."

He led the way down the corridor, with Ranma and Ryoga following and Ling and Lang bringing up the rear. The reached a pair of large mahogany doors intricately carved with rather erotic scenes of men, women, nymphs and satyrs cavorting in various states of undress. He reached in the pocket of his robe and brought out a large, elaborate bronze key which he inserted into the lock on the door.

He turned to face Ranma and Ryoga. "This is the inner sanctum of the Shrine of the Goddess of Love," he said in hushed tones. "It is here that the spirit of the goddess resides when she enters the mortal plane. This is sacred ground. You must remove your shoes before entering."

Ranma gratefully slipped off the blue high-heels and rubbed her feet. How did women walk in these things? Ling and Lang took Ranma and Ryoga's shoes and placed them side by side next to the door.

The monk nodded and gently pushed on the doors. They parted slowly and silently. The inner sanctum was a slightly smaller version of the chapel where the wedding had been performed, sans the pink and red bunting. In the center of the room, facing the statue of the goddess, were a pair of red velvet kneelers.

"Please," the monk said, indicating that Ranma and Ryoga were to kneel.

"This where we get the wish?" Ranma asked.

"As promised, you will receive a Special Blessing and Boon from the goddess as the first couple to stay in our Honeymoon Suite," the monk said. "But there is a certain ritual which must be observed. Certain ancient forms which must be honored."

"Whatever," Ranma said, and plunked down on the kneeler.

Ryoga rolled his eyes at her. Tact had never exactly been one of Ranma's virtues. He shrugged and carefully knelt down on the other kneeler.

The monk handed Ryoga a little pink index card with red lettering. "When I tell you to, you must read this," the monk said.

Ryoga looked down at the card. 'Dearest Goddess, we come before you, blah, blah, blah…' Obviously some kind of prayer. He glanced over at Ranma. She looked nervous. 'Well, of course,' he thought. 'Of course she's nervous. She's about to have her Jusenkyo curse removed. And so am I. In a few more minutes, no more P-chan. I'll be free. Free to tell my love how I feel about her.'

And yet…

Why wasn't he more excited about the idea of telling Akane how he felt about her? He mentally shrugged. It must just be the thought of not being able to share her bed as P-chan anymore.

The thought of sharing a bed brought back an image of he and Ranma, bodies intertwined on the bed in the honeymoon suite, and he blushed at the thought.

* * *

Ranma looked over at Ryoga. His face was red. Obviously excited about getting his curse lifted. No more P-chan. And no more 'Ranko', Ranma thought.

She frowned a little at that. Of course she wanted her curse lifted. But then again, there were certain times being a girl was kind of handy. Like getting free ice cream or treats from the neighborhood vendors. Or fooling Ryoga by pretending to be his sister or girlfriend.

'No,' she mentally chided herself.

She was meant to be a 'man among men,' just as she and Pop had promised her mother. Women were weak, and she didn't want to be weak.

Although…

Her female form might be weaker than her male form, but it was definitely faster. That could come in handy, at times.

But then again, it would be nice to be able to go swimming, or even just walk down the street, without having to worry about turning into a girl. Yup. She was a guy. She was born a guy. She was meant to be a guy. All she had to do was make the wish, and her dreaded female form would be gone forever.

And yet…

* * *

The monk raised his hands, palms down, above the kneeling couple. "Dearly beloved," he intoned, snapping Ranma out of her reverie. "We are gathered here, in the goddess' inner sanctum, to call down her blessing upon this couple, Ryoga and Ranma Hibiki, newly married before goddess and man."

He looked down at Ranma and Ryoga. "Please join hands," he said.

Ranma moved her left hand slightly toward Ryoga. The movement caused the diamond on her ring finger to flash and sparkle in the firelight of the dozens of candles that provided the room's illumination.

She frowned slightly. She had forgotten she was wearing the ring. Should she take it off? Wouldn't it be too small when she changed?

She was about to reach over and take off the ring when Ryoga enfolded her hand in his own.

The monk turned toward the statue of the goddess. "Oh great and benevolent goddess, the personification of love, the avatar of romance, the icon of intimacy, she who blesses all unions between man and woman, look with kindly favor upon Ryoga Hibiki and his new bride, Ranma. Grant them a long and happy life together, grant them peace and harmony in their relationship, grant them a satisfying sex life, and make their union fruitful. Oh great goddess, we ask, we beg, we implore, we beseech, we plead, we humbly pray that you grant this couple your every blessing and favor them with your tender care."

He turned to Ryoga and whispered, "Read the card."

Ryoga held up the pink card the monk had handed him and started reading. "Oh great goddess. I, insert name here, call upon you for your blessing upon me and my wife, insert name of wife here."

"No, no, no," the monk said, snatching the card away. "That's not how you read it." He reached in his pocket and pulled out a pen, scribbled on the card and handed it back to Ryoga.

"Oh," Ryoga said. "Oh great goddess. I, Ryoga Hibiki, call upon you for your blessing upon me and my wife…" He paused and gulped. "My wife, Ranma," he choked out. He swallowed again and continued. He read slowly and carefully, pausing a little at each word as if unused to reading in public. "Oh benevolent goddess, grant us the blessings called down by your priest and grant us the great boon of a long and happy life together in which our love may grow and deepen and make us love each other more and more each day."

Ryoga looked down at the card and frowned, reading it again to himself, his lips silently forming the words. His eyes grew wide.

"Wait!" he called out.

Suddenly, the shrine began to shake.

"It is the goddess!" the monk cried.

The statue of the goddess began to glow, becoming brighter and brighter until they all had to avert their eyes. A wind whipped through the room and all the candles sputtered and died.

Then everything went still.

Ranma and Ryoga cautiously opened their eyes. The room was dark save for a single, glowing figure standing before them. It was a woman of such incredible beauty that it ached simply to look upon her.

Ryoga's mouth fell open and he unconsciously squeezed Ranma's hand, her diamond wedding ring digging into his palm. Yet he felt no pain, except the pain in his chest from the dazzling beauty of the goddess.

The goddess smiled beneficently at them. "Greetings, my children," she said in a voice that seemed to be composed of whole female choirs singing. "It pleases me that you come before me to ask a boon and a blessing. My blessing, I freely give."

Her smile changed subtly and there was now a twinkle in her eye. "Your boon I also grant. So you have asked, so shall it be done. And this also: I see that there are many obstacles to your union. May these melt away like the spring snows under the warmth of the sun. Or like a cold heart when finally touched by another's love. Be happy and be at peace, my children."

"I foresee yet many challenges before you. But if you face them together, all may be overcome. All obstacles I will not remove, for through adversity love grows ever stronger. Separately, you have great strength. Together, you are well-nigh invincible, for the strength of one overcomes the weakness of the other. Use those strengths to meet the trials to come."

Then she turned and smiled broadly at Ling and Lang. "And my two faithful acolytes. I grant you also my blessing, and charge you with the care of this couple, that they may be a beacon to light the way for others to my devotion."

She turned finally to the old monk and gave him a slight nod. "You have pleased me, as ever, my faithful servant. My blessings on you, as well, and my thanks. Oh, and the old place looks pretty nice. Good job on the renovations."

With that, the goddess faded from view and the candles throughout the room sprung back to life.

Ranma and Ryoga knelt there in stunned silence, their jaws hanging open. Each felt an ache, an emptiness, at the disappearance of the goddess that was almost a physical pain.

"Oh, such a marvel! Such a wonder!" the old monk wailed. "To be blessed with a visit from the goddess herself!"

In the back of the sanctum, Ling and Lang danced with joy.

Ranma blinked and shook her head, and then looked around the room in momentary confusion. She felt as if she were waking from a dream.

She looked over at where the old monk was clapping his hands and crying with joy. She looked up at the statue of the goddess, then back at the monk. She sprang to her feet and grabbed the old man by the front of his robes. "Hey, old man!" she growled. "What about my wish?"

The monk blinked in confusion. "I… Wish?"

"Yeah," Ranma said. "I was supposed to get a wish. That was the deal. I spend the night in your stupid honeymoon suite and I get a wish!"

The monk shook his head. "But… But… You were promised a blessing and a boon. And you have received that from the goddess (blessed be her name) in abundance! She has graced you with not only with multiple blessings and boons, but the honor of her very presence. Do you realize how few have seen the goddess herself? In person? This is indeed a red letter day. Yes! A red letter day indeed!"

"Listen, old man!" Ranma yelled. "I paid 50,000 yen for a wish, and I aim to get that wish one way or another!"

She reached back her fist as if about to strike the monk...

and felt her wrist encased in iron.

She spun around. Ryoga stood behind her, gripping her wrist with his inhuman strength.

"Let's go, Ranma," he said.

Ranma glared at him. "This is all your fault!" she cried. "You're the one who read that stupid card and wasted our wish!"

She turned and stomped out of the shrine.

"My fault?" Ryoga yelled at her retreating form. "This was all your stupid idea!" But she was gone.

"How sweet," Ling said.

"Your first fight," Lang said.

Ryoga glared at them, and stormed out of the room. He stomped down the hall and into the honeymoon suite, where he grabbed his backpack and umbrella.

So close. They had come so close to a cure. Part of him agreed with Ranma. It was his fault. He should have scanned the card before reading it out loud. Not that he would ever admit that to Ranma.

"Aaaarrrrrggggghhhh!" he yelled, and slammed his fist into the wall. The stone wall splintered and crumbled, leaving a large hole leading out to the street. Ryoga kicked the remainder of the wall away and stomped out of the suite.

The door to the suite opened and Ling and Lang poked their heads in.

"Oh my! What a mess," said Ling.

"Looks like more renovations," said Lang.

* * *

Ranma stomped down the street. Men stopped in their tracks with wonder at the sight of the barefooted redhead in the beautiful blue dress. Those tempted to approach her were quickly deterred by the angry scowl on her face and the red glow of her chi.

A group of girls from Furinkan High School saw her storm past and immediately started whispering to each other: "Who was that?" "Is she new in town?" "Do you think she goes to our school?" "I hope my boyfriend doesn't see her."

Ranma stormed through the door of the Tendo dojo, slamming it so hard behind her that it loosened on its hinges.

"Oh, my!" said Kasumi, at the sight of Ranma stomping up the stairs toward her room.

"You're going to pay for that!" Nabiki called up the stairs after her.

.


	6. Chapter 6

RANMA, RYOGA, AND THE SHRINE AND MOTEL OF THE GODDESS OF LOVE

Chapter 6

Ranma stomped into the Tendo guestroom which she shared with her father and slammed the door. "Stupid Ryoga," she muttered. "Stupid goddess. Stupid curse."

She looked down at the herself and at the blue dress that hugged her female form. "Arrrgggghhh!" she cried and ripped at the dress, tearing it to shreds, along with her bra and panties. In a matter of moments, she stood there, naked and panting.

"The hell with this," she muttered and stomped out of the room and into the bathroom. She stopped and took a deep breath. Then another. The words of one of her first lessons as a martial artist filled her mind. 'Anger is an enemy to be defeated, like any other. Anger causes rashness and rashness causes mistakes.' She took another breath, held it, and slowly let it out, blowing out her anger with her breath.

It didn't work.

"Stupid pig." She reached down to start the hot water running into the furo. Without waiting for it to fill, she stepped in and splashed herself with the hot water…

And didn't change.

She felt a moment of panic, but then remembered washing with the waterproof soap that morning. "Great," she muttered, sinking down into the hot water. "So I'm stuck as a girl until this stuff wears off."

She sat there as the water sloshed around her, her shoulders drooping, muttering curses against Jusenkyo, her father, the goddess, Ryoga, cold water, hot water, and the universe in general.

The door to the bathroom flew open and Akane stormed in. "Ranma!" she barked. "What on earth were you thinking? Poor Ryoga. How could you have dragged him…" She paused, noting the steam rising from the water and her eyes went wide.

"Ranma!" she cried. "Hot water! You're not changing back!"

Ranma waved a hand dismissively. "Yeah, yeah. Waterproof soap. It's a long story and I'm not in the mood," she said.

Akane, noting the flash and sparkle while Ranma waved her hand, narrowed her eyes. "Why are you wearing a wedding ring?" she asked.

Ranma looked down at her hand. The wedding ring that the old monk at the temple had given Ryoga for her was still on her finger. It glinted as she moved her hand. "I forgot I had it on," Ranma said. She reached down and tugged at it. It didn't budge. She huffed out a breath and pulled harder. The metal band cut into the flesh of her finger and she winced. "The hot water must have swollen my finger," she said.

"What on earth were you thinking?" Akane demanded. "Dragging poor Ryoga into another one of your stupid schemes?"

"It was not stupid!" Ranma countered, without much convicction. She was certainly feeling stupid, but she would never admit that to Akane.

Akane crossed her arms across her chest and scowled. "So where is Ryoga now?" she asked.

"Who knows?" Ranma asked. "Who cares? Wandering around lost somewhere, as usual, I guess." But there was no bite to her words and Ranma felt an odd pang in her chest. She realized with a start that it was guilt, an emotion with which she was not very familiar, having been raised by a man who had raised immorality to an art form.

With a growl, she splashed herself with a little more hot water and then stood and stepped out of the tub. Grabbing a towel, she headed toward the door.

"Where are you going, Ranma?" Akane demanded. "I wasn't through with you, yet."

"Well I am," Ranma said, storming out the door and slamming the door behind her.

Akane's eyes brimmed with tears. "Ranma no baka!" she yelled at the closed door.

* * *

Ryoga looked up at the leaden sky and winced at the rumble of thunder that seemed to roll across the heavens. "Great," he muttered. "That's all I need. Rain." He pulled the ties holding his umbrella to his pack.

He had been wandering for awhile; how long he was not sure. He was surprised, therefore, to find himself looking up at the Tendo dojo. "How did I get here?" he muttered. Of all the times _not_ to get lost, he thought. While normally he would be delighted to find himself at the Tendo's with the attendant opportunity to see his love, Akane, it also meant that he would have to see Ranma. And he wasn't sure he could handle seeing her right now.

The mere thought of Ranma gave him a queasy feeling in his stomach. He idly fingered the gold band on his finger. He looked down, suddenly startled at what he was doing. He had completely forgotten he was wearing the wedding band. He tugged at it, but it didn't budge. He tugged again, harder, but the ring was still stuck fast. He tried twisting it while he pulled, but the ring seemed to have shrunk. He looked up at the heavens and shook his fist. "Ranma! This is all your fault!" A sudden flash of lightning lit his face. Raindrops started falling, smacking him in the face.

To his surprise, he didn't change. He felt a sudden surge of excitement. Maybe the goddess had removed his curse after all. Maybe she had seen into his pure heart and read his pure motives and had taken pity on a poor boy and…

Then he remembered using the anti-water soap that morning.

He hung his head in disappointment and defeat. A growl started low in his throat, growing louder and louder until he threw his head back and cried, "Ranma! Because of you I have seen…"

Then he started coughing violently as his mouth filled with rain pouring down.

The door to the dojo opened. Ryoga sputtered, spitting out the rain, and then wiped his eyes and blinked away the water.

"Oh!' Kasumi said, holding an umbrella above her head to ward off the pouring rain. "It's Ranma's friend. Hello, Ryoga."

"Hello, Kasumi," Ryoga said with a small bow.

"Please, come in out of the rain," Kasumi said.

"Thank you," Ryoga said. 'You are very kind." He walked through the door, leaving little puddles of water with each step.

"Please, make yourself comfortable," Kasumi said. "Goodness. You must be freezing. Let me make you some hot tea."

"That is really not necessary," Ryoga said. He knelt down, reaching to his pack for a towel. When he straightened, Kasumi was gone, but he could hear her bustling around in the kitchen.

Ryoga toweled himself off and then started to wipe up the water he had dripped onto the wooden floor.

"Oh, my!" Kasumi said when she stepped back into the room. "You do not have to do that, Ryoga. You are a guest. Allow me."

"No," Ryoga said. "It is my mess…" But Kasumi pulled the towel out of his hands and he was too startled to resist.

"The tea will be ready in a moment," Kasumi said, wiping the floor.

"Thank you," Ryoga replied.

"How was the wedding?" Kasumi asked. "Wasn't Ranma a lovely bride?"

The image of Ranma in her beautiful white dress and, more disturbingly, of their kiss popped into his mind. "Yeah," he sighed. Then he started and quickly shook his head. "I mean… No .. I mean, she's… I mean, he's…"

"I am just sorry I missed the ceremony," Kasumi continued, seemingly oblivious to his stammering. "I am sure Mister and Misses Saotome will be disappointed as well. It is not everyday one's daughter gets married."

"Son," Ryoga corrected.

"What's that?" Kasumi asked.

"Son," Ryoga said. "Ranma is their son."

"That's what I said," Kasumi said. She finished wiping the floor just as a whistling came from the kitchen. "Ah," she said. "That will be the water for the tea." She stood and hurried into the kitchen.

Ryoga scratched his head. He could have sworn Kasumi had called Ranma the Saotome's daughter. He shrugged. It wasn't important. Either he had misheard or Kasumi had just made a slip.

Kasumi came bustling out of the kitchen with a tray with two steaming cups. "Here," she said. "This will warm you up. Please, please. Sit." She motioned to the table.

Ryoga took a seat at the table and Kasumi set a cup before him. "Thank you," he said, giving a little bow.

"You are welcome," Kasumi said. "Do you have a place to stay?"

Ryoga shook his head. "I have my tent. I will find somewhere to pitch it."

"Nonsense," Kasumi said. "You will stay here with us."

"I do not want to be any trouble," Ryoga replied.

"It is no trouble," Kasumi said. "You can share the guestroom with Ranma. After all, you are her husband."

"I'm not…" Ryoga tried to protest, but Kasumi had already stood and bustled out of the room. "I'm not Ranma's husband," he muttered, absently twisting the ring on his finger.

* * *

Ranma stomped into her room and toweled herself dry. She grabbed a t-shirt, some shorts, and a pair of boxers and quickly dressed, shivering a bit at the cold dampness that permeated the air. Then, with practiced fingers, she quickly and expertly twisted her long, red hair into a braid and tied it off at the end.

She flopped onto her mattress on the floor. "What a waste of 50,000 yen," she muttered. Then slapped a hand against her cheek. Fifty-thousand yen! She had borrowed 50,000 yen from Nabiki! How on earth was she ever going to pay it back? She shook her head. She's burn that bridge when she came to it.

She looked over at the pile of books in the corner. She really should do some of her homework….

Nah.

She was too keyed up to study. She pulled on some slippers and headed down to the dojo. Whenever she was this frazzled, a workout was the only thing that could calm her down.

She headed down the stairs and paused at the figure sitting at the table sipping tea.

"Ryoga!" she growled. "What are you doing here?"

Ryoga turned. His face screwed up in anger and he clenched his fist so hard he crushed the teacup in his hand. "Ranma!" he shouted. "Because of you I have seen… Ow!" Hot tea spilled over his hand and bits of broken porcelain cut into his flesh.

He dropped the remains of the teacup and it hit the floor with a crash.

Kasumi came hurrying out of the kitchen. "Oh my!" she cried.

She rushed over to Ryoga and grabbed his hand. "You've cut yourself," she said. "You really should be more careful, Ryoga."

She turned to Ranma. "There is a first aid kit in the bathroom," she said. "Take him upstairs and bandage his hand. I will clean up this mess."

Ranma grumbled, stomped over to Ryoga and grabbed him by the uninjured hand. "C'mon, pork butt," she sighed. "Let's get you fixed up."

"This?" Ryoga said, holding up his hand. A mixture of blood and tea dripped onto the floor. "This is nothing. I've had worse…"

"Ryoga," Kasumi chided. "Please go with Ranma and quit dripping blood on my clean floor."

Ryoga sighed and let Ranma pull him toward the stairs.

Once in the bathroom, Ranma pushed Ryoga toward the sink. "Wash your hands. I'll get the first aid kit."

"Really," Ryoga said. "It's nothing. I…"

Ranma glared at him. He shut his mouth and turned to the sink. Once he was done washing his hand, Ranma motioned for him to sit on the edge of the furo. She pulled out some bandages and then reached out for his hand.

Ryoga hesitated.

"Well, come on," Ranma said. "Don't worry. I know what I'm doing. Pop and I had to patch each other up plenty on the road."

Nervous for reasons that had nothing to do with his confidence in Ranma's nursing skills, Ryoga reluctantly offered Ranma his hand. Ranma took it gently and examined it, turning it over. She caught the glint of gold.

"You're still wearing the ring," she said, pulling out some salve and gently rubbing it over Ryoga's hand.

Ryoga felt his face flush. "Well… Ah…" he stammered. "It won't come off."

"Tell me about it," Ranma said, holding up her own left hand to show that the diamond ring still graced her ring finger. "If figured my hand was just swollen." She reached down and pulled out some bandages and started wrapping his hand. Her motions were practiced and gentle. A little shiver went down Ryoga's spine as her delicate fingers brushed his wrist. He pulled his hand back quickly.

"Thank you," he said. "That's fine."

Ranma frowned and blinked. "Um… Yeah," she said, putting the various materials back in the first aid kit. "So, listen. I was going down to the dojo to work out. Wanna spar?"

Ryoga grinned. "I warn you," he said, holding up his hand. "This isn't going to slow me down?"

"Pah!" Ranma spat as she slid the first aid kit back in the cabinet. "I'll tie one hand behind my back just to make it even."

* * *

_Author's Note:_

Sorry for the long delay. Just too darned much else going on. But I have not forgotten this story and I promise will see it to completion.

This is something of a 'transition' chapter, so not much really happening, I'm afraid. I do have some rather wicked ideas for upcoming chapters.


	7. Chapter 7

RANMA, RYOGA, AND THE SHRINE AND MOTEL OF THE GODDESS OF LOVE

Chapter 7

The window to the Tendo guest room slid slowly open. A head peeked into view on the right-hand side of the window, followed almost instantaneously by a nearly identical head on the left-hand side.

"Oh, my," said Ling, noting that the room's two occupants were sleeping on opposite sides of the room, as if trying to stay as far apart as possible.

"This will never do," Lang agreed, shaking her head.

The two acolytes crept into the room. Each had a bag over her shoulder. They stopped short at a loud 'snort' from the young man; but he mumbled something unintelligible, rolled over, and continued sleeping.

Ling and Lang waited a moment to make sure the man and woman were both still asleep and then tip-toed over to the closet in the room.

"Oh, this will never do," Ling said.

"Never do at all," said Lang.

The pair had been trailing Ryoga since he had left the Newly Remodeled Shrine and Motel of the Goddess of Love and when they reached the dojo, they had been horrified to learn that Ranma had insisted upon wearing a terribly unflattering red shirt and black pants. Men's clothes, really. And her choice of night clothes was no better: a white tank top and boy's shorts? No wonder the young groom slept on the other side of the room.

Ling and Lang dropped their bundles beside the closet. Ling reached into the closet and snatched half of the clothes hanging there while Lang grabbed the other half. They scurried across the room and pitched the clothes out the window.

Next to the closet were two small chests. One held men's underwear much too large for the young girl. Whosever clothes these were was obviously of substantial girth. They ignored these. Opening the other chest, they found more men's underwear, albeit of a much small size.

"As we feared," Ling whispered.

"The poor girl has to wear men's underthings," Lang whispered back.

They scooped up all this clothing and likewise tossed it out the window.

The two acolytes touched their mouths to suppress the giggles that threatened to erupt and opened the bags they had brought. Ling filled the chest with lacy bras and panties, and rather scandalous lingerie, while Lang hung up the dresses and school-girl uniforms in the closet.

"Do you have the shoes?" Lang whispered.

"Of course," Ling replied, tossing Lang several pairs of feminine footwear which Lang arranged in the bottom of the closet.

Once the clothes were properly arranged, they went to the small desk in the room and straightened up the papers scattered about its surface. Ling set out an assortment of creams, powders, lipsticks, and other makeup while Lang carefully placed a comb, hairbrush and makeup mirror on the desk, along with a couple bottles of perfume.

"Much better," said Ling.

"Most definitely," said Lang.

"Mister Hibiki will appreciate his wife dressing more like a proper lady," said Ling.

"And Misses Hibiki will no doubt enjoy being able to dress prettily for him," said Lang.

"Are we through?" asked Ling.

"Not quite," said Lang, eyeing the young couple.

The pair crept over to Ranma. Ling pulled out a bottle of perfume and dabbed a little on behind each of Ranma's ears and then handed the bottle to Lang. Lang lightly placed a drop on each of Ranma's wrists. The girl sneezed, but did not awaken.

Next, each grabbed a corner of Ranma's futon and dragged it across the room until it was next to Ryoga's sleeping bag. Sound sleeper that she was, Ranma barely stirred.

Ling unzipped Ryoga's sleeping bag and held the side open. Lang gave Ranma a shove and the girl rolled into the sleeping bag. Lang quickly zipped her in. Then Ling raised Ranma's head and Lang slid Ryoga's arm under her.

Ling grinned at Lang. Lang winked back. Then they grabbed Ranma's futon and threw it out the window as well.

* * *

Ryoga felt something tickling his nose. He sniffed. He caught the hint of perfume. He tentatively opened one eye, expecting to be in his piglet form and sleeping on Akane's pillow. He started awake at the riot of red hair that filled his vision.

"Aaaaiiiii!" he yelled and tried to push away from the red-haired girl.

Ranma's eyes snapped open to find her face mere inches from Ryoga's.

"Aaaaiiiii," she yelled and tried to push him back.

Thanks to being zipped into the sleeping back together, however, neither could push the other away. Instead, the sleeping bag began to bounce and thump about the room as the pair struggled to extricate themselves from each other's arms.

The door to the guestroom opened and Kasumi stepped into the room.

"Oh my," said Kasumi at the sight of the newlyweds rolling around the floor in the sleeping bag. The pair immediately stopped struggling and looked up at Kasumi.

"I am sorry," she said, blushing. "I heard the thumping and I assumed you were sparring. I did not realize you were…" Her blush deepened and she turned her back to the couple. "Unfortunately," she said, speaking to the door. "It is time for Ranma to go to school."

"No!" Ranma cried. "Kasumi! It's not what you think. We…" But Kasumi had already hurried from the room and closed the door.

Ranma glared at Ryoga. "This is all your fault, pig-breath. Let me go!"

"My fault?" Ryoga growled. "_You're_ the one in _my_ sleeping bag."

Ranma looked down and was startled to realize that what Ryoga said was correct. She _was_ in his sleeping bag. "Aaaaiiiii," she cried and gave a mighty shove. The sleeping bag ripped in two and white goose down billowed out.

Ranma scrambled to her feet and backed into the far corner of the room, assuming a fighting stance. Ryoga likewise scrambled to his feet and took his fighting stance in the opposite corner. The air between them swirled with little white feathers.

Ranma glanced warily around the room. "What did you do with my bed?" she asked.

"I didn't do anything with your stupid bed," Ryoga replied. "What were you doing in my sleeping bag?"

"You must have grabbed me in the middle of the night, you pervert," Ranma spat.

They heard giggling and both turned slowly to look out the window. Ling and Lang were peering in the window, grinning broadly.

"Look sister," Ling said. "They were so… energetic… when they awoke…"

"In their ardor, they destroyed the sleeping bag," Lang finished.

"You!" Ranma said, spitting out a feather. "I'm going to…" She stalked toward the window, clenching her fists.

She was interrupted by the door opening and Akane sticking her head in. "C'mon, Ranma," she said. "We're going to be late for…" She paused and watched the feathers swirl around the room. "It looks like a duck exploded in here," she said. "Have you been picking on Mousse, Ranma?"

Ranma just stared at her.

Akane rolled her eyes. "Just hurry up and get dressed," she said. "We're going to be late for school." Then she spun on her heel and stormed out of the room.

Ranma shook a finger at Ryoga. "This isn't over," she said. "But I have to get to school." She stomped over to the closet and threw open the door.

And face-faulted.

All her male clothing was gone, replaced by dresses, skirts, and blouses. She spun and glared at the window, but Ling and Lang were gone. She turned back and scowled at the clothing.

She heard a snort behind her. She turned to see Ryoga grinning broadly. "Well, _girl_," he said. "Looks like you're finally going to be dressing properly."

"Ranma!" Akane's shout from downstairs was loud enough to rattle the walls.

Ranma gave Ryoga the evil eye, and then started stripping off her clothes.

Ryoga's eyes went wide. He quickly pinched his nose and spun around to turn his back on Ranma. "Don't you have any female modesty?" he groused, blinking his eyes to try and clear away the vision of Ranma's rather magnificent naked breasts.

"Why?" Ranma asked. "I ain't no female." She jerked open her underwear drawer and let out another 'Aaaaiiiii' at seeing that it was filled with enough frilly underthings to send Happosai into a coma. She glanced back at the door and then at the window, contemplating running away. If not for the exams today in math and English…

With a sigh, she started pulling on the female attire.

* * *

Akane had already left when Ranma finally got downstairs, so she had to run to catch up with her. It was bad enough she hadn't had time to change out of her female form (although she would have looked rather ridiculous dressed like this in her male form), but in all the rush and confusion she had missed breakfast and her stomach was growling angrily.

She rounded the corner and saw Akane up ahead, hurrying toward the school.

"Akane!" she called. "Wait up!"

Akane stopped, turned, and glared back at Ranma. Her eyes narrowed even further when she saw how he was dressed. She put her hands on her hips. "Why are you dressed like that?" she demanded.

"I don't want to talk about it," Ranma sighed. "Come on." She grabbed Akane's hand and started pulling her toward the school.

"It's your fault we're going to be late," Akane said, pulling her hand away.

"Whatever," Ranma said. And the two started running toward the school.

Kuno stood at the entrance to the school grounds. He threw his arms wide at seeing the two girls. "Ah, my pig-tailed girl and the beauteous Akane! You run into my… Ack!" Ranma and Akane didn't even slow as they plowed him over.

The two skidded into the classroom and managed to dive into their seats just before the bell rang.

Ranma turned to Akane and smiled smugly, but Akane ignored her.

"Morning, sugar." Ukyo Kuonji leaned forward in the seat behind Ranma and whispered into her ear. "Why are you in a dress this morning?"

"Long story," Ranma sighed. She glanced over to see Shampoo staring at her.

"Good morning, class," the teacher said, walking into the room. "I…" he paused. "Mr. Saotome," he said, catching sight of Ranma. "It is encouraging to see you in proper school attire, for once. May one hope that this signifies a new dedication to your academic studies?"

"Fat chance," Ranma muttered under her breath.

The teacher chose to ignore the comment. "Please stand for the morning announcements," he said.

The class stood. Ranma heard whispering and not a little bit of laughter behind her. She narrowed her eyes and clenched her fists. Her face grew red. She just knew they were laughing at her.

A few minutes later, while the rest of the class was working on an assignment and Ranma was dreaming of hot, tasty pork buns, the door to the classroom opened and an aide came in, bowed, and handed the teacher a note. The teacher glanced at the note, frowned, and then stood. "Ranma Saotome," he said. "You are to report to the office immediately."

"What'd I do?" Ranma asked. "I didn't do nothin'."

The teacher handed her the note. "Never-the-less, report to the office."

Ranma glanced down at the note. There was nothing to indicate why she was being summoned. She wracked her brain for what it could be. It's not like she hadn't done plenty to get in trouble, she just didn't think Principal Kuno knew about any of it.

"Now, Mr. Saotome," the teacher said.

Ranma started out of her reverie and then followed the aide down the hall.

Principal Kuno was in his office dressed, as usual, in a Hawaiian shirt with a pineapple on his head. "Aloha, wahini," he said. "Congratulations!"

Ranma frowned. "Ah, thank you?" she said.

"Don't worry," Principal Kuno said. "I've already told the staff to update your records."

"My records?" Ranma asked.

"To change your name to Ranma Hibiki," Principal Kuno said. He reached into a desk drawer, pulled out a handful of rice, and threw it at Ranma. Unfortunately, since it was cooked rice, it hit her shoulder with a 'splat' and started dribbling down the front of her uniform.

"But… But… But…" Ranma stammered.

"The Tokyo Prefecture sent over a copy of your marriage license," Principal Kuno continued. "I am so happy for you! Let me kiss the bride." He reached out to grab Ranma, his lips growing huge as he puckered up and smacked them at her.

Ranma punched him, dove out of his office, and slammed the door. The office staff didn't even look up.

"How about a celebratory haircut?" the Principal voice echoed weakly from his office.

Ranma stepped out into the hallway and started to beat her head against the wall. "No. No. No," she muttered.


	8. Chapter 8

RANMA, RYOGA, AND THE SHRINE AND MOTEL OF THE GODDESS OF LOVE

Chapter 8

There is a theory of physics which states that the only things that can travel faster than the speed of light are tachyons and rumors, and we're not so sure about tachyons. Therefore it was no great surprise that before the end of the first class period, word had travelled throughout the entire school that Ranma Saotome was married. Of course, rumors being rumors, it was a plethora of different stories that were circulating.

One was that Ranma and Akane had gotten married.

One was that a male Ranma and a female Ukyo had gotten married.

One was that a female Ranma and a male Ukyo had gotten married.

One was that Ranma and Kuno had gotten married.

One was that Ranma and Shampoo had been married all along and that he had seven other wives back in China.

One was that Ranma was really the daughter of a Yakuza crime lord and only pretended to turn into a guy when splashed with hot water as a way to throw off her father's enemies.

Interestingly, very few of the rumors were that a female Ranma had married that odd Ryoga character with the razor-sharp throwing bandanas who occasionally showed up at the school.

* * *

After leaving the principal's office, rather than going back to her first period class, Ranma wandered into the boy's bathroom. She stood in front of the sink and contemplated splashing herself with hot water. But then she looked at her reflection in the mirror and sighed. She was going to take enough ribbing from the guys for wearing a dress to school, without being a guy while she was doing it. She rested her hands on the edge of the sink and let out a deep breath. A glint caught her eye. She had forgotten she was still wearing the stupid wedding ring.

She grabbed it and yanked. It refused to budge. She yanked harder. All she succeeded in doing was making her finger hurt.

"Stupid ring!" she yelled and slammed her fist against the sink. The sink went flying across the room and the broken pipes sprayed her with cold water.

"Aaaaahhhhhh!" she yelled, jumping out of the way.

Now she was a girl, in a dress, and soaking wet.

She sloshed her way out into the hall. She only had a few minutes until class was out. She looked around and, with a shrug, stepped into the girl's bathroom. She pulled the tie from her braid, finger-combed out her hair, and then squatted beneath the air-blown hand drier to dry herself off.

She had progressed from sopping wet to merely damp when the bell rang. She looked around nervously. If the girls caught her in their bathroom, she was toast. She hurried out before any girls came in.

* * *

When the bell rang, Akane grabbed her books and stepped out into the hall. She was immediately ambushed by a pack of pack of girls firing questions at her in rapid-fire succession.

"Are you and Ranma really married?"

"What was the wedding like?"

"What was the _honeymoon_ like?"

"Did you wear the gown or did he?"

Akane staggered back as if the questions were physical assaults. Fire sprang up in her eyes. She yelled, "I AM NOT MARRIED TO THAT BAKA!" and ran off down the hall.

The pack of girls headed off to find Ukyo.

* * *

Ranma slipped into the classroom and grabbed her books. She was just waking out of the classroom when she caught her reflection in one of the windows and stopped short. The girl in the reflection certainly was no 'man among men.' The wetting and blow-dry had given her hair a volume and luster that was actually very attractive – and quite feminine. And given that her damp dress clung to her almost scandalously while the drier had given her cheeks a rosy glow, she almost didn't recognize herself.

"Damn," she muttered, and slinked out into the hallway.

Hiroshi and Daisuke were waiting outside the classroom and did a double-take when she walked out. Their eyes bulged out and their jaws dropped. Some other time Ranma might have teased them with her female form, but today she was not in the mood.

"Put yer eyes back in yer sockets," she grumbled.

The two boys shook their heads, blinked, and seemed to come back to themselves. "Hey, Ranma," Hiroshi said. "Is it true? Are you married?"

"Sort of," Ranma mumbled, and turned to start down the hall to her next class.

"Who's the lucky girl?" Daisuke asked.

"Forget that, how was the honeymoon?" Hiroshi asked, waggling his eyebrows and elbowing Ranma.

"It'snotagirl," Ranma mumbled.

"What?" Hiroshi asked.

"It's… complicated," Ranma said, a little louder.

"So what else is new?" Daisuke shrugged. "You're like a magnet for complicated. You're the king of complicated. Complicated moved into your house and…" He paused and his eyes went wide again. "Are… are you wearing a girl's wedding ring?"

Ranma quickly stuck her hand behind her back.

"No," she said, weakly.

Hiroshi and Daisuke both leaned back and looked behind her. "Are you sure?" Hiroshi asked. "Because that looks like quite a rock."

"Guys…" Ranma said, her voice rising.

"Okay, okay," the both said, raising their hands. "It's just…"

"Fine," Ranma said. "It's a girl's ring. I… sorta… got married to another guy."

That brought the two friends up short. "You mean, all this time. You're…"

"No!" Ranma snapped. "I was trying to get a stupid wish to get rid of my stupid curse and to do it I had to stay in this stupid honeymoon suite and I… sorta… pretended to be the bride."

"So who's the lucky guy?" Daisuke asked. "And why didn't you ask one of us?"

"Yeah, Ranma," Hiroshi said, his eyes roaming over Ranma's body. "If your girl side was looking for a guy to spend the night in a honeymoon suite, I would have been glad to… Ack!"

Ranma slammed the two's heads together and left them out cold on the hall floor.

* * *

Ranma could feel every pair of eyes in the classroom on her as she slipped into her seat for her second period class. She never thought she would be grateful for an exam, but at least since they would be taking a test, they wouldn't be asking her a bunch of questions.

The teacher, Miss Hinako Ninomiya, looked at her, then back at her computer monitor, and then back at her. An odd expression passed over her face, but then she simply shrugged. Weird was par for the course at Furinkan High.

Once the bell rang, she started calling roll. When she reached Ranma's name, she paused for a moment, checked her computer monitor one more time, and then said, "Ranma Hibiki?"

A murmur ran through the classroom.

Ranma sat staring down at her hands, folded on her desk.

Miss Hinako looked pointedly at Ranma and said again, "Ranma Hibiki."

"Present," Ranma said in a very small voice.

"I'll kill him!" came a loud voice from the back of the classroom. Ukyo jumped to her feet, brandishing her giant spatula. "I'll kill him."

"Hapo Five Yen Satsu!" Miss Hinako cried, holding up her coin. Ukyo staggered back and slumped into her seat.

"Now if everyone would please get out your testing booklets," Miss Hinako said.

* * *

Ranma slumped down on the bench of the picnic table. Word was now all over school that she had married a guy. And if that wasn't bad enough, Principal Kuno had changed her classes to something 'more suitable' for a married woman. So now she was stuck taking home economics and girls' physical education. And if that still wasn't bad enough, she had skipped breakfast and had left the house without her lunch.

She closed her eyes and sighed. She jerked them open, however, when she felt someone slip onto the bench next to her.

Ukyo smiled at her. "Hey, sugar," she said. "I brought you some lunch." She slid a bento in front of Ranma. "Special okonomiyaki."

Ranma broke into a broad grin and grabbed the chopsticks. She was just about to stab the wonderful food when Ukyo grabbed her hand. "But first," Ukyo said. "You have to tell me what's going on with this Ranma Hibiki thing."

Ranma lowered the chopsticks.

Suddenly, a bowl came sliding across the table, knocking Ukyo's bento box aside. "Shampoo bring husband lunch," said the purple-haired girl who slid onto the bench on the other side of Ranma.

Ranma raised his chopsticks, but Shampoo grabbed his hand. "All husband have to do is promise not really married to bandana boy," she said.

Ranma dropped the chopsticks.

"What do you care?" Ukyo said. "Ranma is my fiancé."

"Spatula girl crazy as ever. Ranma is Shampoo's husband."

"Who you calling crazy?" Ukyo growled, pulling out her fighting spatula.

"If shoe fits," Shampoo said, jumping to her feet.

Ranma quickly scooped both lunches off the table and dove underneath it. She was just about to raise a mouthful of okonomiyaki when Akane poked her head under the table. "There you are," Akane said. "Hiding like a coward. Do you have any idea what you've put me through today?"

"Who is this foul knave Hibiki who had besmirched my gentle pig-tailed girl?" a voice bellowed from the other side of the table.

"I can tell you for 200 yen," came another familiar voice.

Akane straightened. "Stay out of this, Nabiki," she yelled.

There was a loud 'clang' as Ukyo's spatula glanced off of one of Shampoo's bonbouri.

"Hey! It's a fight!" someone yelled, and the entire school, it seemed, came running over to watch another one of Nerima's incredible martial arts contests.

Ranma shrugged. In all the confusion, everyone seemed to have forgotten about her. She snapped the chopsticks together a couple times, licked her lips, and was trying to decide between Ukyo's and Shampoo's offerings when a hand clamped onto her wrist and pulled her out from under the table.

"Hey!" she cried as lunches and chopsticks went flying.

An arm clamped around her waist and her assailant threw her over his shoulder. By the time she gathered her wits, they were already outside the growing circle of students cheering on Shampoo and Ukyo (while Nabiki worked the crowd taking bets).

"Put me down!" Ranma yelled.

Thump.

She hit the ground, landing at the base of a large tree.

She balled her fist and glared up at Ryoga. "What are you doing?" she demanded.

"Apparently," Ryoga spat. "It's a husband's duty to protect and defend his wife." He jerked a thumb up at the tree. Ling and Lang smiled and waved. "They brought me here and _insisted_ I get you out of there."

"Isn't it romantic," Ling said.

"He saved his bride from certain death," Lang said.

"Certain death!" Ranma sputtered. "Look, I don't need saving. I am perfectly capable of… Whoa! Hey! What are you doing?" She sprang to her feet.

Ling had pulled out a small bow as Lang handed her a small arrow with a heart-shaped tip. Ranma tensed, ready to dodge the missile.

Ling smiled and shook her head. "This isn't for you, silly," she said.

"You two need a distraction so you can escape," Lang said.

Ling spun toward the crowd of students and let fly an arrow. In a blur of motion, Lang handed her another arrow, and another, as Ling sent them flying toward the crowd.

"No!" Ranma and Ryoga cried in unison and leapt for the tree.


	9. Chapter 9

RANMA, RYOGA, AND THE SHRINE AND MOTEL OF THE GODDESS OF LOVE

Chapter 9

"An opening!" Ukyo shouted, as Shampoo missed with one of her bonbori, leaving her slightly off-balance. She drew back her battle spatula and was just about to strike when a heart-tipped arrow plinked into her bottom. She paused. Her head seemed fuzzy. She closed her eyes and shook her head. When she opened her eyes, she found herself staring at a tall, handsome young man holding a bokken. She blinked, shook her head, and then a smile slowly spread across her face. "Why, hello sugar," she said.

* * *

Tatewaki Kuno was vaguely aware that some peasant from the lower grade was speaking to him. He didn't care. Her voice was so much gravel in his ears. He only had eyes for… A heart-tipped arrow planted itself in his thigh. He paused, confused. He only had eyes for… He shook his head and locked his gaze on a most magnificent purple-haired goddess. She was shouting something in broken Japanese, but to his ears, her voice was the ringing of heavenly bells. He brushed past the girl with the giant spatula and started toward this magnificent creature.

* * *

Shampoo knew she had made a mistake the instant she started to swing her bonbori. Ukyo had twisted at the last moment and Shampoo had swung her weapon so hard she could not alter its path enough to connect with Ukyo's changed position. She would be open to a counter-stroke if she did not do something, and quickly. She pushed off with her strong legs, twisting her upper body in a graceful arc… and a heart-tipped arrow thudded into her right shoulder. Her head suddenly went fuzzy and she over-compensated in her turn. She tripped and went down hard on her derriere, her bonbori thudding into the dirt beside her. She blinked, shook her head, and noticed two rather handsome young men from her class standing close together, whispering to each other. She looked from one to the other, trying to decide which one was the more handsome. Finally, she shrugged. They were both cute. She blinked, brushed a lock of purple hair back behind her ear, and smiled at the boys.

* * *

Hiroshi and Daisuke were, as usual, together. They were still a little groggy from Ranma's little expression of displeasure earlier, but they certainly were not going to miss a good fight. Especially a fight between two girls. Alas, there was neither mud not jello involved, but one couldn't have everything. Hiroshi leaned in to whisper a rather lewd comment about Shampoo's "fighting assets" when a heart-shaped arrow grazed Hiroshi's arm, bounced off, nipped Daisuke's shin, and then planted itself in the ground. Hiroshi felt a little woozy and gripped Daisuke's shoulder. Daisuke winced. They looked at each other for a moment, then shook their heads in unison to clear them. Then they turned as one when they heard a familiar voice ask, "Have you two seen Ranma?" Hiroshi's breath caught in his chest and Daisuke's heart skipped a beat. There she was. The forbidden fruit. Ranma's bob-haired fiancée.

* * *

Akane was, as usual, annoyed at Ranma. She had come out here to confront him about the hell he had put her through with this whole 'married' nonsense and he had the nerve to disappear while she was trying to keep her sister, Nabiki, from further complicating the situation. Ignoring the fight between Ukyo and Shampoo, she scanned the crowd for her red-headed fiancée, growing angrier by the minute. She spied Ranma's friends Hiroshi and Daisuke standing at the edge of the circle watching the fight and stomped over to them. "Have you two seen Ranma?" she growled. Before they could answer, she felt something prick the back of her leg and she spun around to see what it was. She blinked in confusion at the little heart-tipped arrow sticking from her calf and it seemed as if the ground started spinning. She staggered a bit and held out a hand to steady herself. Just then, a figure in thick glasses and a flowing robe came running onto the field. She sighed at the beauty with which his long hair flowed behind him as he ran.

* * *

Mousse ran as fast as he could toward the school. He had been out on a delivery for the Nekohanten when he had heard that his beloved Shampoo was in a fight. He dropped the deliver and ran toward the school, shouting "Shampoo! I will save you!" (Of course, if Shampoo had heard this, she would have smacked Mousse silly for daring to think that he, a man, could possibly save an Amazon warrior such as her). Hearing the roar of the crowd, he picked up speed, bouncing off cars and trees like a pinball. There was a great big blur ahead which he took to be the crowd watching the fight. He ran toward it… And stumbled when a small, heart-tipped arrow embedded itself in the back of his head. He tripped, somersaulted twice and landed at the feet of a girl clutching a fist-full of betting slips. She was a little blurry, but in Mousse's addled mind, that wasn't his poor vision, but rather the angelic glow of this shrewd goddess of yen before him.

* * *

Nabiki frowned. Betting was slow. Ukyo and Shampoo were pretty evenly matched, so everyone seemed to be dithering about who to bet on. Even Nabiki was having trouble calculating sure-fire odds in her head, so she was stuck at even money on each. Of course, she would make her money off her bookie fee no matter who won, but it galled her to thing she might be limited to a measly fifteen percent. She thumbed through the betting slips, trying to think of a way to stack the odds more in her favor, when she caught something out of the corner of her eye. She ducked just in time to send a heart-shaped arrow slipping past her head to thud into the tree next to her. The tree seemed to shudder and shake, and then she could swear it seemed to bend a little towards her.

She shrugged and looked up to see that the fight, inexplicably, had stopped.

Ukyo was staring at Kuno. Kuno was hurriedly scribbling a love poem as he mooned over Shampoo. Shampoo was primping and preening as she tried to catch Hiroshi and Daisuke's eye. Hiroshi and Daisuke were arguing over which one was going to go over and talk to Akane. Akane was sitting on a bench, staring dreamily at Mousse. And Mousse was laying at Nabiki's feet, looking a little more dazed then normal.

Nabiki smiled broadly and stepped over Mousse's prone form. If nobody won the fight, then she didn't have to pay out anything.

* * *

Ling, assisted by Lang, was firing little heart-tipped arrows seemingly at random into the crowd of students who had assembled to watch the fight between Ukyo and Shampoo.

Ranma recognized that bow and those arrows. Given the unreasonable (in her mind) expectations of her various fiancées, Valentine's Day was not her favorite holiday (other than the profusion of chocolate that she managed to wheedle out of clueless male admirers), but she did recognize the more blatant symbology of the holiday. Especially a certain bow with heart-tipped arrows that was usually carried by a certain winged cherub.

This did not bode well for peace and sanity in Nerima. (Not that there had been peace and sanity in Nerima since Ranma's arrival, but hope springs eternal).

With a loud cry of "No!" Ranma leapt at Ling.

Ryoga was rather less clued in on the whole Cupid thing, but Akane was out there, and those two crazy acolytes were firing arrows into the crowd. Fearing that one might hit Akane, he cried out, "No!" and leapt at Ling.

The laws of physics state that two objects cannot occupy the same space at the same time. Unfortunately for Ranma and Ryoga, they both qualified as 'objects' and their respective routes to Ling converged into the same space. In other words, they smacked into each other. Hard.

Fortunately, their momentum carried them upward and Ranma managed to snatch the bow out of Ling's hands while Ryoga grabbed the quiver of arrows away from Lang.

The newlyweds whacked the ground together, Ryoga twisting at the last moment to keep from landing on top of Ranma and crushing her beneath his greater mass. Of course, that meant that Ranma landed on top of him. Given Ryoga's near imperviousness, it might have been softer for Ranma if she had hit the ground.

She sat up, a little dazed, and shook her head.

"Get off me," Ryoga growled.

Ranma looked down to see that she was sitting on Ryoga's chest.

"Sorry," she muttered. She stood, and then blinked dumbly at the bow in her hands, as if she had forgotten why she was holding it.

Ryoga climbed to his feet, still holding the quiver of arrows, while Ranma shook her head again to clear the cobwebs and then glared up at Ling and Lang. She shook the bow at the acolytes. "What were you thinking?" she cried. "We have enough to worry about around here without everyone falling in love."

"Falling in love?" Ling asked.

"What is so wrong with falling in love," Lang asked.

"Love is a beautiful thing," Ling said.

"I love that song," Lang said.

"But we are confused," Ling said

"As to what you are talking about," Lang added.

Ranma shook the bow again. "Cupid's Bow!" she shouted. "You can't just go around shooting everyone with love arrows."

Ryoga looked down at the quiver in his hands, noticing the red, heart-shaped arrowheads for the first time. He dropped the quiver and jumped back as if stung. The last thing he needed was to accidentally prick himself with one of the arrows.

"Cupid's Bow?" Ling said.

"That's not Cupid's Bow, silly," Lang said.

Ranma's brow furrowed. "It's not?"

"Cupid's bow is much too powerful," Ling said.

"The goddess would never trust us with anything that dangerous," Lang agreed.

"Then what?" Ranma asked, looking down at the bow.

"That is the Bow…" Ling started.

"…of Annoying Infatuation," Lang completed.

Ranma and Ryoga both face-faulted.

* * *

"The Bow of What?" Ranma asked.

"Infatuation," Ling said.

"Annoying Infatuation," Lang corrected.

"Thank you, sister," Ling said.

"My pleasure," said Lang.

"What's that?" Ranma asked.

"What's what?" Ling and Lang asked together.

"Infatu-whatver," Ranma said.

Ling whipped out a mortar board and plopped it on her head. "Infatuation," she said in a scholarly tone, "is a foolish and usually extravagant passion or admiration."

Lang grabbed the mortar board and put it on her own head, continuing in the same scholastic manner, "to be distinguished from true love, which is a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person."

Ling grabbed the mortar board. "Infatuation is often accompanied by lust, and treats the other as an object."

Lang whipped the mortar board back onto her own head, "Whereas true love is pure and is concerned more for the good of the other than for oneself."

The two acolytes sighed in unison. "Like what you two have," they said.

"WE ARE NOT…" Ranma started to yell, but Ryoga put a hand on her arm to stop her.

"How long does the curse last?" Ryoga asked, frowning.

"Curse?" Ling asked.

"What curse?" Lang asked.

"The curse of the bow," Ryoga asked. "This… infatuation thing."

"Well, I don't know if you could call it a curse," Ling said.

"It does seem to make people happy, at least at first," Lang said.

"At first?" Ranma asked.

"Since infatuation is not deep," Ling said.

"It tends to fade rather quickly," Lang said.

"Tell that to Kuno," Ranma muttered.

"Is there any way to undo this?" Ryoga asked. He looked out across the field at Akane, pining after Mousse.

"It just has to run its course," Ling said.

"How long it last depends on the person," Lang said.

Ryoga's chi flared white hot. He grabbed the bow from Ranma's hands and with a mighty shout, snapped it across his knee. There was a brilliant flash of light and the bow disappeared.

"Oh my," Ling said.

"You really shouldn't have done that," Lang said.


	10. Chapter 10

RANMA, RYOGA, AND THE SHRINE AND MOTEL OF THE GODDESS OF LOVE

Chapter 10

Ryoga threw a pebble into the koi pond and watched the ripples spread across the pond, expanding and fading at the same time. He contemplated the metaphor for a moment, and then threw in another pebble.

"You ready?" Ranma asked.

Ryoga looked up at the small, red-headed girl weighed down by a huge backpack. She was wearing a silk blouse and tight jeans, the most practical travelling clothes Ling and Lang had left in her closet. The blouse was cut low to show her ample cleavage and the jeans hugged her hips very nicely.

Ryoga shook his head. He had been admiring Ranma's female form a little too much of late. He had to stop it, if for no other reason than to preserve his own sanity.

He stood and reached out a hand. "Let me take that," he said.

"I can carry my own pack," she snapped.

"I didn't say you couldn't," he replied. "But I can carry it easier than you can, and I don't want you slowing us down."

She glowered at him.

"Besides," he said. "As your husband, I am expected to do the heavy lifting."

"Why I… You…" Ranma stammered. "If you think…"

Ryoga took advantage of her momentary fluster to snatch the backpack, swinging it easily onto his shoulder. Then he grabbed his own pack and slung it over the other shoulder. "Let's go," he said. "The sooner we get this done, the better."

Ranma frowned and contemplated snatching back her pack. She was faster than Ryoga, after all, and it would be easy to do. Then she reconsidered. If the big oaf wanted to carry all the weight, why not let him? A small smirk crossed her lips. "Ah, my big, strong hubby," she gushed. "Whatever would I do without you?"

Ryoga glowered at her. "Don't think I've forgotten this is all your fault," he said.

"My fault?" Ranma shot back. "You're the one who broke the Bow of Annoying Infatuation."

"Yes," Ryoga countered, "but we wouldn't have been saddled with that pair of psycho match-makers if you hadn't gotten us _married_."

"Yeah… well…" Ranma sputtered. "It was _you_ who wasted our wish with the goddess. I coulda been a guy again. Permanently."

"And if it wasn't for you knocking me into that pool, I wouldn't turn into a pig," Ryoga replied.

"I never asked you to follow me," Ranma said.

"It was a matter of honor," Ryoga replied. "You ran out on our bread feud."

"For the last time, I didn't 'run out'," Ranma shouted. "I waited _three days_."

"Whatever," Ryoga said. "I have more important things to worry about. _You_ can stay here arguing. _I_ am going to start our quest." He turned and started to stomp off.

"Not so fast, pig-breath," Ranma said, grabbing his wrist. "We need to re-make the Bow of Annoying Infatuation sometime this century. With your sense of direction, you'll never find all the necessary ingredients. The Old Ghoul said it would be a long and dangerous journey and we could only complete the task by working together."

Ryoga sighed. Ranma, unfortunately, was right. If he tried to complete the quest alone, he would be wandering through Botswana within a week. "Fine," he spat. "Let's get going so we can get this over with. Where do we need to go first?"

Ranma pulled out the piece of paper Cologne had given them with the instructions for re-making the Bow of Annoying Infatuation. The sight of it sent a shiver down her spine, remembering the chaos that had driven them to seek the Old Ghoul's help in the first place. It seemed that when Ryoga destroyed the old bow, the magic spread by its arrows had become unstable. One minute Akane would be chasing Mousse trying to steal a kiss, and the very next moment she would boot him into Low Earth Orbit out of disgust at his very presence. Cologne had no idea, unfortunately, how long the effect would last. The only remedy was to re-make the Bow and thus stabilize the effects. Thus Ranma and Ryoga had a long and detailed set of instructions as to how to re-make the bow.

"Let's see," Ranma said. "First, we're going to need hair from the tail of the Fire Stallion of Shikoku." She looked down at the paper. "The Fire Stallion," she read, "is one of the most amorous creatures on earth. Once it sets its sights on a particular mare, he will pursue her across the length and breadth of Japan until he can mate with her. Then he'll never call, write, or send her flowers."

"Where do we find this Fire Stallion?" Ryoga asked.

"On the island of Shikoku, I assume," Ranma replied.

"Fine," Ryoga said. "Shikoku it is." He turned and started north.

Ranma grabbed his wrist again. "Ryoga," she chided. "Shikoku is this way." She motioned to the south.

"Oh," Ryoga replied. "I knew that."

Ranma slipped her hand down from his wrist to take his hand. "This is going to be a long trip if I have to spend the whole time making sure you don't get lost." She started down the road, pulling Ryoga along.

Ryoga tightened his grip on her hand and followed. Her small hand felt warm in his. He was doing this for Akane, he told himself. He certainly wasn't going to enjoy walking in the warm sunshine, feeling the gentle breeze on his face, holding the hand of a pretty girl as they walked together down the road.

* * *

The young girl wiped the sweat away from her forehead, careful to use the back of her wrist since her hands were dirty from planting flowers. She stretched her back left and then right to work out the kinks and glanced down the road. Seeing a man and a woman coming down the road towards her, she squinted in the afternoon sun to try and make out who they were. The man was quite a bit taller than the small woman, but she appeared to be leading him down the road by the hand.

As they got closer, she caught the flash of red from the woman's hair and yellow from a bandana tied around the man's head. She shook her head. It couldn't be.

She stood and brushed the dirt from her hands and watched the pair come closer. Her breath caught. It _was_ them!

She ran toward the couple and cried, "It's you! It's you!"

Ranma looked over at Ryoga, brows furrowed. He simply shrugged. Ranma then turned back toward the girl. "Look, kid," she said. "I don't know who you think we are…"

"I can't believe you're here," the girl said. "My friends will be so jealous. Wait here, please? Please? I won't be a moment." She turned and ran back towards her house.

Ranma looked back at Ryoga, who merely shrugged again. "Some help you are," she muttered.

Ryoga glowered at her. "And how am I supposed to know what some crazy girl is talking about?" he asked.

"You sure you didn't run into her while you were wandering around lost?" Ranma asked.  
"She seemed to recognize you."

"Me?" Ryoga replied. "I think she recognized you. Maybe she's another fiancée that your father never told you about."

Ranma frowned. Unfortunately, that _was_ possible. "Well let's not stick around to see," Ranma said. "We've got enough to worry about."

She pulled at Ryoga's hand. He didn't budge. "Come on," she said. "Let's move."

Ryoga smiled, a glint in his eye. "It would be rude to run off and not speak to your fiancée," he said.

"She is _not_ my fiancée," Ranma said. Then she held up her left hand and wiggled her ring finger, the diamond ring glinting in the sun. "And if she were, do you want to take on her whole family when they find out that you've stolen me away from her?"

Ryoga hadn't thought of that. Teasing Ranma was one thing. Fighting off a whole clan of one of Ranma's would-be suitors was something else entirely. "You're right," he said. "Let's go."

Unfortunately, it was then that the girl emerged from the house and started running toward them, waving some paper. Fortunately, she wasn't leading a pack of her crazed martial artist relatives.

"I can't believe I get to meet the _bride_ and _groom_!" she gushed, as she skidded to a halt in front of the pair. "You just _have_ to give me your autographs."

"The who?" Ryoga asked.

The girl shoved a magazine toward them, turned to a full page color spread of a smiling bride and groom. The first picture showed the groom, a handsome young man in a tuxedo with a yellow bandana and a matching yellow tie and cummerbund, slipping a ring on the finger of his beautiful, red-haired bride, stunning in her white gown. The second picture showed the couple in a passionate kiss. Emblazoned across the top of the page was "Come to the Newly Renovated Shrine and Motel of the Goddess of Love – the Place Where Dreams Come True!" A little lower, it said, "Our wedding chapel is the perfect place to profess your undying love for each other and our honeymoon suite is the perfect place to consummate your new union."

"Wha- wha- wha-," Ranma stammered.

The girl shoved a pen in Ranma's shaking hand. "Could you sign it 'To my friend, Hitomi. Someday you will be an even more beautiful bride than me'?" the girl asked.

Ryoga snatched the magazine away and started at it, open-mouthed.

"Oh, of course," the girl said. "Of course the wife should let her husband sign first." She snatched the pen away from Ranma, who was gaping like a fish, and shoved it in Ryoga's hand. "You can sign it, 'To Hitomi. If only you were a little older I would have taken you as my bride instead.'"

Ryoga flipped over to the cover of the magazine to find it was something called 'True Romance Stories for Girls of Good Character.' He shook his head. "No, no, no," he muttered.

"I can't wait to tell my friend Keiko," the girl said. "_She_ insisted that you were just models, but I said that you just _had_ to be a real bride and groom. I mean, just look at that kiss. You can't fake true love like that."

Ryoga's hand started shaking and he squeezed the pen so hard it burst, spilling red ink all over his hand.

"Oh, my," said the girl. "Wait here. I'll get another pen."

She turned and ran back to the house.

As soon as she was gone, Ranma grabbed Ryoga by the hand and pulled him down the road. Ryoga dropped the magazine and it fell to the ground, fluttering down to land open to an article that read, 'How Shared Adversity Brought Me Closer to My Spouse.'

They stopped at a park a little ways down the road and Ranma slumped onto a bench. Ryoga dropped the packs and slumped onto the bench next to her.

"Great, just great," Ranma muttered.

"This just gets worse and worse," Ryoga agreed.

"No telling how she's going to take this," Ranma moaned.

"Akane already knows we got married," Ryoga said. "And she knows you're a pervert."

"I'm not talking about Akane," Ranma said. "I'm talking about Nabiki."

"Nabiki?" Ryoga asked.

"I promised her exclusive rights to the wedding photos," Ranma said. "No telling how much this is going to cost me."

Ryoga's jaw dropped. "You're worried about _money_?"

"Not money," Ranma said. "Nabiki. No telling what she's going to make me do to make it up to her."

Ryoga shuddered a little at the thought. Forget crazed martial artists, enchanted creatures, or manic godlings, Nabiki Tendo was downright _scary_. He draped his arm around the back of the bench and turned to face Ranma. "You know," he said. "Nabiki doesn't strike me as the type to read 'True Romance Stories for Girls of Good Character.'"

"Yeah," Ranma agreed. "But it will be hard to miss _that_."

She pointed to a large billboard overlooking the park on which was a picture of a familiar bride and groom locked in a passionate embrace under the words, 'The Newly Renovated Shrine and Motel of the Goddess of Love – Your One-Stop Venue For All Your Wedding Needs.'

"Oh crap," Ryoga said.

* * *

They decided to avoid the main roads to hopefully minimize any more encounters with their newfound 'fans.' They walked until just after the sun went down, and then started looking for a place to set up camp for the night. Ryoga spotted a sheltered clearing near a small brook.

Ryoga set up the campsite while Ranma gathered firewood. Ranma didn't want Ryoga wandering off and getting lost. Years of training trips with her father had taught Ranma the requisite camping skills, while Ryoga had honed his through years of wandering, so they had the camp set up in no time.

While Ryoga started the fire, Ranma went over to the stream and filled a pot with water, intending to make stew with some of their provisions. Looking into the clear water, she spied a large trout swimming in one of the deeper parts of the brook. Slowly, cautiously, she crept up on the trout, moving carefully so as not to spook it. Then, with her lighting fast martial artist reflexes, she quickly scooped out the trout and flung it up on the creek's bank. "Gotcha!" she cried.

Feeling rather proud of herself, she put her hands on her hips and yelled, "Hey, Ryoga! How about fresh fish for dinner?"

Ryoga stood from stoking the fire to look over at what Ranma was yelling about. He watched her splash toward the bank in smug triumph at her foraging skills, but she wasn't watching where she was going. She stepped on a moss-covered rock and in a flash her feet slipped out from under her and she fell into the ice-cold brook with a loud splash.

Ryoga shouted and came running, splashing into the water after her. "Ranma! Are you all right?"

Ranma jumped out of the water and into Ryoga's arms. "C-c-c-c-cold!" she chattered. Ryoga carried her out of the water, her wet clothes soaking him, too. He started toward the fire, but she grabbed his arm. "F-f-f-f-fish," she said, pointing down at the large trout flopping in the grass.

"Let's get you to the fire, then I'll come back and get your fish," he said. He carried her over and set her on a large log he had pulled up next to the small fire, and then added fuel to the fire until it blazed into crackling fury. That done, he went over to his pack and pulled out a blanket which he wrapped around her shoulders.

"G-g-get my fish," she said through blue lips.

Ryoga shook his head and went back to the brook. He picked up her bucket and, scooping up the trout, dropped it in.

He hurried back to the fire, starting to feel the chill himself since carrying Ranma had soaked his clothes as well. He set the bucket down next to her and started to make a snide comment about her clumsiness in falling in, but when he saw how much she was shivering, the comment died on his lips.

He sat down next to her, wrapped his arms around her, and started vigorously rubbing her arms. Her shivering lessened and, as an added bonus, the vigorous exercise had warmed him up a little as well. He stopped rubbing and simply held her, warming her with his own body heat.

Ranma snuggled closer to him. Her mind was telling her to push him away. This was _Ryoga_ for kami's sake. But she was so cold and he felt so warm. Just a few minutes. Until she was warmer. _Then_ she would push him away.

Ryoga felt her shivering lessen, then finally stop all together. Yet he did not let her go. With the sun long set, there was a distinct chill in the air and he didn't want her to start shivering again. It wasn't that he particularly cared, he told himself. He just needed her to complete the quest and if she got sick she would slow him down.

Still, he couldn't resist at least a little dig. "Interesting fishing technique, Ranma," he said softly.

Ranma didn't respond. She had fallen asleep in his arms.


End file.
